"Mystery Science Theater 3000" Riding with Death (TV Episode 1997) - Michael J. Nelson as Mike Nelson

Leonard Driscoll : [narrating] Federal Agent Sam Casey. Born April 16, 1958. New York City, New York. Received Juris Doctor degree from Harvard Law School, 1983.

Mike Nelson : Under "Operation: Admit the Dumb".
Mike Nelson : [sung to a country tune] Let's keep America for Americans and send all the Indians back to Africa!
Mike Nelson : Peter Fonda is Richard Petty in "The Marcel Marceau Story".
Leonard Driscoll : Sam! Get back here! You're as elusive as Robert Denby!

Mike Nelson : [laughs] Who?
Sam Casey : I'm coming up on your mudflaps at sixty-seven.

Crow T. Robot : "Coming up on your mudflaps." People have such cute names for sex.

Mike Nelson : My well-oiled chassis is coming up on your backside now.

Tom Servo : My rigid grill structure is bearing down on your unprotected cargo door.

Crow T. Robot : My oft-complimented Peterbilt is rhythmically nudging that... sweet honeypot of yours.

Mike Nelson : CROW!
Mike Nelson : [as Sam Casey] I seek Robert Denby. I need to find out why I was considered as elusive as him.
Sam Casey : Yeah, but then one man's meat is another man's poison

Mike Nelson : Turkey meat that is...
Mike Nelson : He calls me Sister Woman, I call him Big Daddy
Leonard Driscoll : It was rented out last night to a man named Luther Stark

Sam Casey : Luther Stark?

Mike Nelson : Of the Stark Nakeds?

Michael J. Nelson: Mike Nelson