Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)

Horrors of Spider Island (1999)

Bill Corbett: Crow T. Robot, Observer

Quotes 

• Crow : They should just start putting handles on women for easy carrying.

• Gary Webster : Water!

  Crow : That's what dried soup mix needs.

• Mike Nelson : Better dead, than continue living.

  Crow : As a general rule, I'm not sure I agree.

• Crow : So Mike, if you're in a plane crash and you're a girl, you instantly become helpless and sex hungered, and you murmer a lot?

  Mike Nelson : Well there's only one way to find out.

  [Mike takes the SOL down and the three start doing a spoof on the plane crash in "Horrors of Spider Island." After the crash, everyone is dressed up as a girl] 

• Babs : Where's Gladys?

  Crow : Spying on the Stephens.

• Crow : [seeing Barbara Valentine's name in the credits]  It's an anagram for "a bra bra navel nite."

• Mike Nelson : [about Gary]  Burt Lancaster he's not.

  Crow : Not even Bert Lahr.

• Mike Nelson : [as everyone dances in the movie]  This is how I view the world. Everyone else is out doing this while I sit in my underwear eating a toasted cheese sandwich and drinking a nice beer.

  Crow : Pretty accurate.