Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)
Final Justice (1999)
Bill Corbett: Crow T. Robot, Observer
Quotes
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[on Geronimo's cowboy boots which bear a resemblance to a certain '90s-era computer manufacturer]
Crow : His boots are made by Gateway Computers.
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Crow : [Joe Don collapses] In the time it takes him to fall the government in Italy changes three times.
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[Joe Don Baker leaves the village after the villagers nursed him back to health]
Mike Nelson : Well, they hustled him out of the village pretty quick.
Tom Servo : [as Joe Don] But wait, I'm still sick and wounded.
Crow : [as villagers] Uh huh. Good-BYE!
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[as Joe Don Baker chugs a large glass of milk]
Crow : His arteries are just looking at each other, shaking their heads.
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Crow : The sun is blotted out as Joe Don Baker approaches.
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Crow : Clowns. Terrifying in any country.
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Crow : [upon seeing Joe Don Baker's name in the credits] Ooh, I wish I were illiterate so I wouldn't have to read that.
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[Geronimo's taxi cab driver is framed from up high which gives him a diminutive look]
Crow : The three-inch taxi cab driver!
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Crow : [about Joe Don Baker] A giant baby in a hat.
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Crow : And now, the thick, meaty conclusion of "Final Justice."
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Crow : [upon seeing Joe Don Baker's horrible suit] My Mom made me a real cowboy suit!
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Crow : Wow this movie's really drawn me in... to a deep well of despair.
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Crow : I'm wearing spurs on your Italian marble!
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[Palermo is disguised as a priest but is repeatedly accosted by a weeping woman]
Crow : [as Palermo] God is dead, we're closed.
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[Captured by the bad guys, Geronimo is dragged into their lair]
Crow : Joe Don Baker, arriving on the set of "Final Justice".
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[Geronimo walks down a crowded Maltese sidewalk, in a shot very similar to one in "Midnight Cowboy"]
Crow : [singing to the tune of "Everybody's Talkin'"] Everybody's burpin' at me, I can't smell a thing they're eatin'!
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Crow : He's going, ahead-ing, on-ing!