Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)

Hobgoblins (1998)

Mary Jo Pehl: Pearl Forrester

Photos 

Quotes 

• Pearl Forrester : Mike, Servo, Art, I took away the couch and brought it back down here. You are all old enough to be taking some responsibility for some of our things

  [In the background Brain Guy and Bobo start jumping on the couch] 

  Pearl Forrester : Couches do not grow on trees!

  Bobo : Hey can I have some of you grape juice?

  Brain Guy : Sure, if I can have some of that seal coating!

  Pearl Forrester : There was a nice settee I was thinking of sending up there, there was a particular office chair I know you would have enjoyed, Crow, but I don't know if I can ever trust you with any home furnishings ever again... Bobo, Brain Guy, who wants candy?

  Bobo : Oh I do, I do!

  Brain Guy : Me, me!

  Pearl Forrester : [Pearl hands them a bomb each]  I don't mean to yell...

  [Pearl places cotton wool in her ears, and two explosions occurs off-screen] 

  Pearl Forrester : ... I just really want everyone to stay off the couch.

• Crow : [sighs]  Now, now, there, there, you did so mean to turn me on that time!

  Tom Servo : [sighs]  Okay, I admit it, I turned you on on purpose, o-kaay, cause I was upset and I turned you on, so biiiig deal!

  Mike Nelson : Well now you just turned me on, can't you do anything without turning people on? It's just... I can't

  Tom Servo : Oh that's nice, coming from you, after you turned me...

  Pearl Forrester : Yooou couldn't turn me on if you had a dozen naked Gerato's and Fabio in tight leather pants.

  [Goes all breathless and looks turned on] 

  Pearl Forrester : Ah ah, aaah, um... where-where was I? Oh, right, I'm remodeling the Great Hall, I'm putting in a conversation pit and the couch I had picked out for it came in early, so I need you guys to store it for me. Brain Guy!

  Brain Guy : Yes Madam.

  [Teleports couch to Mike and the 'bots] 

  Pearl Forrester : And no jumping on the couch!

  [Cuts to Mike and the bots jumping on the couch] 

  Crow : Weeeeeeee! Weeeeeee, watch you guys I'm gonna do something cool. You can see my legs, you can see my legs!

  Tom Servo : Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Thanks Grandma Pearl!

  [Laughs] 

  Mike Nelson : Weeeeeeeeeeeee! Woo Hoo! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

  [Laughs] 

  Pearl Forrester : Grandma Pearl does not want you jumping on that couch! Get off, right now! Don't, don't squeeze those juice boxes on that couch!

  [Cuts to the guys jumping, laughing and squeezing juice all over the couch] 

  Pearl Forrester : Oh, we can't have nice things! That's it, that is it! I am going to give you such a movie!

  Crow : Crow, Servo and Mike, together: We don't care!

  Pearl Forrester : Bobo. Brain Guy. Get the movie.

  Brain Guy : Huh, no!

  [Bobo shrieks] 

  Brain Guy : [the guys stop laughing and look scared] 

  Pearl Forrester : [Putting gloves on]  We have ways of dealing with ne'er-do-wells, who insist on jumping on our rent-to-own couches. Your movie...

  [Bobo runs up the the camera and shrieks again] 

  Pearl Forrester : ... is called...

  [Removes a film reel from a chest] 

  Pearl Forrester : ... Hobgoblins!

  [Bobo shrieks again] 

  Mike Nelson : Pearl, please, whatever you're thinking, please don't!

  [the guys start shouting apologies, and then the movie sign alerts] 

• Pearl Forrester : You couldn't turn me on if you had a dozen naked Gerardos and Fabio in tight leather pants!