- Eric Cartman: I need a complete team to operate this vehicle. Along with me I'm gonna need a scientist, an engineer, and, of course, a black person who can sacrifice himself in case something goes wrong.
- Mayor McDaniels: I signed a permit allowing them to have their concert here. Their little festival should pump some money into our economy.
- Eric Cartman: They're hippies! They don't have any money!
- Eric Cartman: [as he sees the attic hippies] See that. hippies. These are what we call the ,uh, giggling stoners. Pretty common form of hippies, usually found in attics.
- Eric Cartman: [to the hippies he has locked up in his basement] Here, here's some joints and a guitar.
- Eric Cartman: In my professional opinion, we're looking at a full-blown hippie jamfest the size of which we've never seen.
- Eric Cartman: Hello, ma'am. I'm working to clean up the neighborhood from parasites. Do you mind if I take a quick look around your house? I'm afraid you may have hippies.
- Elderly Woman: Hippies?
- Eric Cartman: Yeah, they've been poppin' up all over the neighborhood lately. Ms. Nelson next door had seven hippies in her basement; they usually live in colonies. Hm, I don't like the sound of that. Could I take a look in your attic?
- [Eric Cartman is in jail]
- Mr. Mackey: Uh, hi, Eric, how's it going?
- Eric Cartman: [sarcastically] Great. I love crapping in a toilet with no rim on it.