Wonderfalls (TV Series)
Caged Bird (2004)
Jeffrey R. Smith: Wade Jones
Quotes
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Wade Jones : It is kinda creepy, isn't it? Getting a murderer's heart?
Jaye Tyler : Eh, it's an anecdote.
Wade Jones : I don't think the man was evil. He did have a donor sticker. It takes thought and effort to be an organ donor.
Jaye Tyler : Especially considering what they say about paramedics.
Wade Jones : I'm just grateful I got a new heart after you made the old one explode in my chest. All that talk about being a hero, I could have died. I hope you've learned a lesson about playing games with people's lives.
[leaving, he passes by Alec]
Wade Jones : Hey, you wanna see my scar?
Alec : Awesome!
Jaye Tyler : Or you could say "thank you"!
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Jaye Tyler : [spying on store shoppers] Go for the sunglasses. Abort the cage and go for the glasses. You could fit, like, a dozen in each sleeve.
[chuckling, she sees the security guard isn't laughing]
Jaye Tyler : Hypothetically.
Wade Jones : The idea is we don't want them to steal.
Jaye Tyler : You don't understand. This is as fun as it gets these days. I can't even go out for a drink anymore.
Wade Jones : How long you been sober?
Jaye Tyler : Oh, I'm not sober. I'm in love with a bartender, and he just re-married his wife, so that makes things awkward.
[returning her attention to the shoppers]
Jaye Tyler : He's eyeing the Slinky. You know, he has to steal, like, four of those for me to even get a dollar.
Wade Jones : Is this one of those stores that gives its employees a cash bonus when they apprehend a shoplifter?
Jaye Tyler : Ten percent of whatever they were gonna steal. One time, I "accidentally" left the watch case open, and I got, like, 500 bucks.
[the kid puts the Slinky in his pants]
Jaye Tyler : Slinky in the pants, aisle three.
Wade Jones : Roger that.
Jaye Tyler : No, wait! Wait! We should wait! He might steal more and be more guilty.
Wade Jones : Why? Is the watch case unlocked?
Jaye Tyler : [reluctant] Fine! We can catch him now.
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Wade Jones : His heart was the only thing that wasn't pulverized. They took it out of him and put it into me.
Shoplift Kid : You got the heart of a murderer? Are you gonna start killing people now?
Wade Jones : I can't kill anybody. I have to avoid strenuous activity.
Shoplift Kid : You can't even chase me if I steal something?
Wade Jones : Probably not for another month.
[the kid takes a souvenir from a shelf]
Wade Jones : Hey, don't you...
[groaning as he stands up]
Wade Jones : Ooh.
Jaye Tyler : [stopping the kid and taking the item back] Hey! Out!