- Drew Carey: I'd give you points for that, but the points don't matter. Points don't matter. The points here are a lot like the new shows on UPN. Nobody seems to care.
- Wayne Brady: [in "Greatest Hits", during a vaudeville song] Hey, Mr. Driver?
- Brad Sherwood: Yes, Mr. Niblick?
- Wayne Brady: What would you call an actress if she weren't a big driver?
- Brad Sherwood: Uh, I don't know. What would you call her?
- Wayne Brady: Minnie Driver!
- Brad Sherwood: [in "Let's Make a Date", as a monster truck announcer] My favorite dish is six feet of mud and BURNING FUEL DIESEL, being blown across the track at 165 miles an hour! I'd like to wallow around in a mud slop with you, baby, on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!