- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Did you know that hardly any of the guys who landed on the moon are married to the same people they were married to before they went there?
- Abbey Bartlet: What?
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: I'm just saying that it could be worse. I could have been an astronaut.
- Abbey Bartlet: You could not have been an astronaut.
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: I'd have been a great astronaut!
- Abbey Bartlet: You're afraid of heights, speed, fire and small places!
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: I'd have overcome it to go to the moon.
- Abbey Bartlet: I know you would have.
- [pauses]
- Abbey Bartlet: There's something important I have to say.
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Say it.
- Abbey Bartlet: I haven't really made up my mind yet, but at the moment, I'm leaning towards voting for you.
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: But I am not satisfied. Indeed, Leo, I am close to taking my own life with a wheat thresher
- Leo McGarry: Bruno.
- Bruno Gianelli: Yeah, uh, listen up. I-I've been thinking. It might not be such a bad idea to lock you all in here and set the place on fire. We have forty-eight hours before we kick off this campaign. We will all work Hard, we will all work well, and we will all work together, or, so help me, Mother of God, I will stick a pitchfork so far up your asses, you will quite simply be dead.
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: And so, with pride and purpose, I hereby announce my candidacy for the Presidency of the United States.
- Josh Lyman: It's true, sir. America does not want Dr. Kevorkian to lead the country. We've got polling data on that.
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: There's a new book, and we're gonna write it. You can win if you run a smart, disciplined campaign. If you studiously say nothing - nothing that causes you trouble, nothing that's a gaffe, nothing that shows you might think the wrong thing, nothing that shows you think. But it just isn't worthy of us, is it Toby?
- Toby Ziegler: No, sir.
- Douglas Wegland: I'm from Oregon. In Oregon we like to see a man stand up and say he's sorry. Where are you from?
- Toby Ziegler: Me?
- Douglas Wegland: Yeah.
- Toby Ziegler: I'm from the United States of suck my...
- Josh Lyman: All right! Let's take lunch.
- Douglas Wegland: Republicans talk about how arrogant you guys are. I always thought it was the natural reaction that comes to not getting the girl. I can't believe how much they've been low-balling it.
- Sam Seaborn: Good news about Haiti.
- Margaret: I say we should have gone in there with four tank divisions and turned the place into a casino.
- Sam Seaborn: Manifest destiny.
- Margaret: Bet your ass!
- Connie Tate: I was trying to find a Starbucks. A guy in a gas station said, "Round here, people don't pay four bucks for a cup of coffee."
- Sam Seaborn: New Hampshire. Live free or cheap.
- Bruno Gianelli: The sooner you get I know what I'm talking about, and I'm on your side, the sooner your world gets better.