Tales from the Crypt (TV Series)

Lower Berth (1990)

John Kassir: Crypt Keeper

Quotes 

• Crypt Keeper : [sobbing]  Oh, sorry, kiddies. But that story just makes me go to all pieces. Ah Ha Ha. I was a cute little terror tyke though wasn't I. As for Enoch and Myrna, I guess you figured out by now where I get my good looks. Old Two-Face was my daddy and the mummy was my mommy. Ha Ha Ha.

• Crypt Keeper : [as he is rocking a baby]  Aw... There, there. Isn't he just so cute that you want to... Oops. Crypt Keeper here kiddies and speaking of kiddies, tonight's sickening saga should be subtitled a "Tale from the Crib." Yes, dear fans I've got a real nursery crime for you this time. It's all about the humble beginnings of my favorite horror hero. So call the babysitter and break out the barf bags as I narrate a nauseating novella with a very special place in my heart. I affectionately call this one "Lower Berth."