- Crypt Keeper: [wearing a blood pack facial mask and a towel on his head] Oh, hello there, fright fans. I've just been sitting here waiting for my blood pack to harden. My cosmotologist said I was starting to look a little lifeless.
- [laughs]
- Crypt Keeper: Much better, eh? Which reminds me, tonight's poison parable is about a couple who take their appearance very seriously. Needless to say, they're going to end up trying to save face. I call this one "Judy, You're Not Yourself Today."
- Crypt Keeper: [wearing a medallion necklace] I still think diamonds are a girl's best friend. You'll be glad to know that, that witch gave up door-to-door sales and joined the Peace Corpse.
- [laughs]
- Crypt Keeper: Poor Donald. You can't really blame him. He was only trying to give his marriage a shot in the arm
- [fires gun]
- Crypt Keeper: and in the leg
- [fires gun]
- Crypt Keeper: and in the head!
- [fires gun; laughs]
- Crypt Keeper: Sometimes I crack myself up!
- [laughs]
- Crypt Keeper: Until next time kiddies, pleasant screams!
- [laughs; fires gun]