- Cameron Balinsky: [SG-13 discovers Ancient built ruins] Oh, Dr. Jackson is gonna die when he sees this.
- Colonel Dave Dixon: What, again?
- Cameron Balinsky: Funny.
- Major Samantha Carter: So you do your interview with the documentary crew yet?
- Teal'c: Indeed.
- Major Samantha Carter: You know, I have to admit, I can't wait to hear what everyone else said.
- Teal'c: I did not say much.
- Major Samantha Carter: Really? That is surprising. It's usually so hard to shut you up.
- Emmett Bregman: Colonel, you know I'm going to get you on camera sooner or later, even if all I get is a series of shots of you avoiding being got.
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: Fire away. I hope shots of my ass serve you well.
- Colonel Dave Dixon: Yeah, all-night screaming, projectile vomiting, nuclear diapers... you have no idea. The reason they make them so damn cute is so you don't suffocate 'em in their sleep.
- Senior Airman Simon Wells: Sir, you have *four* kids.
- Colonel Dave Dixon: Yeah, why do you think I enjoy my job so much? Don't get me wrong, I love the little buggers to death, but trust me, havin' four kids makes going through a Stargate and facin' off against alien bad guys look like nothin'. This is relaxing.
- Senior Airman Simon Wells: Then why'd you have four?
- Colonel Dave Dixon: Well, one's pretty bad, but you figure you gotta have two so the little guy can have a brother or sister, right? Then you have two boys, and the wife says she want a girl so you figure "Hell, three can't be much worse than two", right? What you don't realize is your brain is fried 'cause you haven't slept. After three, four is no big deal. You're so deep in it, nothin' seems to matter any more. It's chaos. You're just tryin' to make it through each day alive. In the end you spend all the energy you have left tryin' to get 'em into bed only to lie awake prayin' they don't get hooked on drugs, hurt, or worse... wind up dead in an alley somewhere.
- Senior Airman Simon Wells: Can't wait, sir.
- Colonel Dave Dixon: Yeah, miracle of birth, my ass. I'll tell you what a miracle is, birth control that works.
- Emmett Bregman: Is that who I think it is?
- Colonel Tom Rundell: It's Colonel Jack O'Neill.
- Emmett Bregman: Colonel O'Neill. Hi. I'm...
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: I like vanilla over chocolate, my favorite color is peridot, I think Tibet should be free and if I could have dinner with anyone in the world, it'd be Mary Steenburgen.
- Colonel Dave Dixon: Well, I don't see any indication of anything here.
- Cameron Balinsky: Take the usual bet on that, sir?
- Colonel Dave Dixon: Sure. Wells?
- Senior Airman Simon Wells: Abandoned Naquadah mine.
- Colonel Dave Dixon: Boring. Good odds. Bosworth?
- Senior Airman Jake Bosworth: I'm gonna put my money on trees, sir.
- Colonel Dave Dixon: Bosworth's disqualified for being a smart ass. I'll go with two-headed aliens.
- Senior Airman Simon Wells: Hostile or friendly, sir?
- Colonel Dave Dixon: One head good, one head bad. Balinsky?
- Cameron Balinsky: Oh, ruins of an ancient city.
- Colonel Dave Dixon: Yeah, you wish.
- Emmett Bregman: You were... what was the word? You were, transcended?
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: Ascended.
- Emmett Bregman: Ascended?
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah. Well, actually, I did have the unfortunate experience of, um, dying, first. Slowly and quite painfully, I might add.
- Cameron Balinsky: Look at this place, it's incredible!
- Colonel Dave Dixon: Yeah, you seen one crumbled city...
- Cameron Balinsky: This place was built by the Ancients.
- Colonel Dave Dixon: You sure?
- Cameron Balinsky: Yes, these markings and this stone architecture... Dr Jackson is going to die when he sees this.
- Colonel Dave Dixon: What, again?
- Colonel Tom Rundell: Maybe it's my opinion, but it seems to me throughout history the best documentaries have taken a, you know, cinema verité approach...
- Emmett Bregman: Yeah, yeah cinema verité...
- Colonel Tom Rundell: Letting the subject tell its own story.
- Emmett Bregman: Yeah, tell you what, Tom? I think that that's probably a very interesting point of view, and, uh, mostly if not totally crap, especially in a situation like this. You know, if this story was going to tell itself, you know what? Then there'd be Stargate updates on the nightly news! You do have a point, you have a point in the sense that we probably should start with a soft approach and make people feel comfortable, gain their trust. You know what? We would be here a year! These soldiers conceal things for a living.
- Colonel Tom Rundell: Airmen, sir. We're the United States Air Force.
- Emmett Bregman: These "airmen" conceal things for a living.
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: Sir? It's not that I don't appreciate...
- Major General George Hammond: [Interrupting] I knew Kinsey and Bregman were headed your way, and I thought you might be looking for an excuse to get away, Colonel.
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: I thought as much, sir, and I just wanted to express my deep and unyielding
- [pause]
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: love for you, sir.
- Emmett Bregman: [after chasing Daniel down the hall with his camera crew to watch him read a fax that's "interesting"] Then what's with all the running?
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: I just wanted to see if you'd chase me.