- Lt. Commander Data: Pardon me - but why is Lieutenant Barclay being referred to clandestinely as a vegetable?
- [Barclay has assured there would be no power shortage on the ship during an investigation of the power systems]
- Capt. Picard: Good. I look forward to your report, Mr. Broccoli.
- [long, frozen pause]
- Capt. Picard: ...Barclay.
- [in one of Barclay's holo-adventures, Riker, La Forge and Troi encounter a smaller version of Riker dressed as a musketeer]
- Holo-Riker: Am I late? Did I miss the fight?
- Holo-Riker: [sees Riker] En garde!... You, sir... you have a familiar bearing. Is it possible our swords have crossed somewhere before?
- [Riker, Troi and La Forge are looking for Barclay in his holo-fantasy]
- Commander William T. Riker: You want us to search through all this to find him?
- Counselor Deanna Troi: It could provide us with valuable information about what's troubling him. You know, there's nothing wrong with a healthy fantasy life, as long as you don't let it take over.
- Commander William T. Riker: You call this healthy?
- Counselor Deanna Troi: You're taking it so seriously. It's not without its element of humor.
- [they come across another, Troi look-alike character]
- Holo-Troi: I am the Goddess of Empathy. Cast off your inhibitions and embrace love, truth, joy...
- Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Oh - my - God.
- Holo-Troi: Discard your façades, and reveal your true being to me.
- Counselor Deanna Troi: [indignantly] Computer, discontinue...
- Commander William T. Riker: Computer, belay that order!
- Commander William T. Riker: [to Troi] We want to get more insight into what's been troubling this poor man, remember?
- Commander William T. Riker: [to La Forge] Quite a healthy fantasy life - wouldn't you say?
- Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: [agreeing] Mm.
- Holo-Data: Your sword, sir.
- Commander William T. Riker: I don't have a sword.
- Holo-La Forge: How do you expect to fight without your sword, sir?
- Commander William T. Riker: I don't expect to fight.
- Holo-Picard: Ha! Do I detect a streak of yellow along the good fellow's back?
- [the three "musketeers" roar with laughter]
- Lt. Reginald 'Reg' Barclay III: Being afraid all of the time, of forgetting somebody's name, not, not knowing... what to do with your hands. I mean, I, I am the guy who writes down things to remember to say when there's a party. And then, when he finally gets there, he winds up alone, in the corner, trying to look comfortable examining a potted plant.
- Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: You're just shy, Barclay.
- Lt. Reginald 'Reg' Barclay III: Just shy... Sounds like nothing serious - doesn't it? You can't know.
- Lt. Reginald 'Reg' Barclay III: [of his holo-fantasies] You know, the people that I create in there are m... more real to me than anyone I meet out here. Except... maybe you, Commander.
- Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: I need you out here, Reg - now more than ever.
- Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Glad you were with us out here in the real world today, Mr. Barclay.
- [after Barclay's input has prevented a warp engine failure]
- [last lines]
- Lt. Reginald 'Reg' Barclay III: Computer - end program. Erase all programs filed under Reginald Barclay.
- [he prepares to leave the holodeck but stops once more]
- Lt. Reginald 'Reg' Barclay III: ...except program IX.
- Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Broccoli makes me nervous, Captain. He makes everybody nervous.
- Capt. Picard: "Broccoli"?
- Commander William T. Riker: Young Mr. Crusher started that, I guess it's caught on.
- Capt. Picard: Let's just get that *un*-caught, shall we?
- [after O'Brien has demonstrated to La Forge a transporter malfunction]
- Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Glad I don't have anywhere to go.
- Counselor Deanna Troi: I know this is difficult for you. Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?
- Lt. Reginald 'Reg' Barclay III: No.
- Counselor Deanna Troi: Have you ever been to a counselor before?
- Lt. Reginald 'Reg' Barclay III: Yes. No.
- Counselor Deanna Troi: Which one?
- Lt. Reginald 'Reg' Barclay III: Yes, but she, it wasn't. It wasn't really a counselor.
- Counselor Deanna Troi: Most people find a counselor intimidating at first. It's okay if you feel that way toward me.
- Lt. Reginald 'Reg' Barclay III: Not at all.
- Counselor Deanna Troi: Now, lean back, close your eyes.
- Lt. Reginald 'Reg' Barclay III: Why?
- Counselor Deanna Troi: I want to make you more comfortable.
- Lt. Reginald 'Reg' Barclay III: You do?
- Counselor Deanna Troi: Yes.
- [She dims the lights and sits next to him]
- Counselor Deanna Troi: It's okay. Close your eyes.
- Lt. Reginald 'Reg' Barclay III: What are you going to do?
- Counselor Deanna Troi: Just listen to the sound of my voice. Take a slow deep breath in through your nose and let it out through your mouth just as slowly. That's better, isn't it?
- Lt. Reginald 'Reg' Barclay III: [standing up] Much better. Oh, yes. Oh, yes, that's, that's much better. That is extremely helpful. Thank you for your time.
- Counselor Deanna Troi: But...
- Lt. Reginald 'Reg' Barclay III: Really. That's very helpful. In through the nose, out through the mouth. I'm going to practice that and I'll let you know. Thank you again.
- [He rushes out of the room]
- Capt. Picard: I'm not accustomed to seeing an unsatisfactory rating for one of my crew.
- Commander William T. Riker: I guess the issue is whether Mr. Barclay is Enterprise material.
- Capt. Picard: I assume from your request for his transfer that you think he's not, Commander.
- Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: I hate to say it, but I always thought I could work with anybody. But I just don't understand this guy. Broccoli makes me nervous, Captain. He makes everybody nervous.
- Capt. Picard: Broccoli?
- Commander William T. Riker: Young Mr. Crusher started that. I guess it's caught on.
- Capt. Picard: Let's just get that un-caught, shall we? There's every indication he's served competently in Starfleet for years. His ratings aboard the Zhukov were satisfactory. In fact, I recall Captain Gleason speaking quite highly of him before his transfer.
- Commander William T. Riker: In retrospect, I wonder if Captain Gleason wasn't buttering our bread a little. He knew we were looking for a diagnostic engineer. I've examined Barclay's psychological profile; he's a history of seclusive tendencies. It was noted at the Academy more than once.
- Capt. Picard: And yet, he chose this way of life. He has made the same commitment to Starfleet that we all have. It's easy to transfer a problem to someone else... too easy.
- Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Captain, it's not like I haven't tried.
- Capt. Picard: Try harder, Geordi. He's a member of your team. Try to find some way to help him to make a positive contribution; get to know the man better! Make him your best friend.
- Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: With all respect, sir - my best friend? I can barely tolerate being in the same room with the man.
- Capt. Picard: Then I suggest you put your personal discomfort on one side, Commander. Dismissed.
- Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Yes, sir.
- Commander William T. Riker: I think it's time we spoke to the captain about Broccoli. That's what Wesley calls him. Keep that to yourself.
- Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Well, it fits.