Photos
Quotes
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Mr. Thomassoulo : You win, George. We've had it. If you leave right now, Play Now will give you six months' pay. That's half of your entire contract. Please... just go.
George Costanza : You see, if I stay the whole year, I get it all.
Mr. Thomassoulo : Want to play hardball, huh? Fine.
[picking up his phone receiver and turing on the intercom]
Mr. Thomassoulo : Attention, Play Now employees. George Costanza's handicapped bathroom on the sixteenth floor is now open to all employees and their families.
[he hangs up]
George Costanza : Well played.
Mr. Thomassoulo : I'll see you in hell, Costanza.
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Jerry : The bump into always leads to the backslide.
Elaine Benes : David and I will not be getting back together.
Jerry : Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can't do it in one push. You got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.
George Costanza : That's beautiful.
Elaine Benes : What about you? You were even engaged, and you cut it off just like that.
Jerry : That's different. I didn't have feelings for those people. But you, you'll backslide.
Elaine Benes : You want to bet?
Jerry : Stakes?
Elaine Benes : Fifty.
Jerry : Dollars?
Elaine Benes : All right. Witness?
George Costanza : Witness.
Jerry : Done.
George Costanza : Percentage?
Jerry , Elaine Benes : No.
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Jerry : Hey, there's Claire. I better go down.
George Costanza : Hey, there's Kramer and Darin.
Jerry : There's the giant ball of oil. Claire's right underneath that thing. Claire! Hello! Helloooo! Helllooooo!
Claire : I don't believe this. I am not looking up if you're going to do that voice!
Cosmo Kramer : Bombs away.
Jerry : This is gonna be a shame.
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[entering his office through an air vent after finding the door boarded up]
George Costanza : Hello, Margery. George Costanza. How are you sweetheart? Listen, can you give Mr. Thomassoulo a message for me? Yes. If he needs me, tell him I'M IN MY OFFICE! Thanks.
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Jerry : [Kramer and Darin roll an oil drum down the hallway] Trouble down at the plant?
Cosmo Kramer : It's a tank of oil. Darin and I are finally gonna test out my bladder system.
George Costanza : You have to drink that whole thing?
Cosmo Kramer : No, no, no. It's for oil tankers. All I need to do is fill some sort of rubber container with oil and then drop it to see whether or it not it can withstand the impact.
Jerry : [ironically] I understand.
George Costanza : Would a giant, rubber ball work?
Cosmo Kramer : Conceivably.
George Costanza : Well, Play Now has all kinds of different rubber balls. Why don't we test your bladder system at my office?
Jerry : You're not.
George Costanza : Oh, yes I am. Mr. Thomassoulo likes to play dirty? Well, there's nothing dirtier than a giant ball of oil.
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[after Play Now learns George isn't really handicapped]
Mr. Thomassoulo : George, I've realized we've signed a one year contract with you, but at this point, I think it's best that we both go our separate ways.
George Costanza : I don't understand.
Mr. Thomassoulo : We don't like you and we want you to leave.
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George Costanza : Good morning.
Worker : Go to hell.
George Costanza : Hi Alice, that's a nice dress.
Alice : Don't even look at me.
George Costanza : Hi Glenn.
Glenn : Go to hell.
George Costanza : Heard that one already.
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George Costanza : They sent some guys in to sandblast for 6 hours. Tomorrow, they're putting in asbestos.
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Elaine Benes : Hey.
Jerry : [doing "the voice"] Helloooo!
George Costanza : [doing "the voice", too] Helloooo, Elaine.
Elaine Benes : What's that?
Jerry : Oh, it's just this stupid thing.
Elaine Benes : Well, I'm sure it's stupid. It's not about me, is it?
Jerry : [doing "the voice" again] Noooo.
George Costanza : [doing "the voice" again, too] Not at all.
Elaine Benes : Tell me!
Jerry : All right. You know this girl Claire I'm seeing?
Elaine Benes : Yeah.
Jerry : Well, he and I starting joking that when she falls asleep, her stomach stays awake all night and talks to me.
Elaine Benes : How is it talking?
Jerry : Well, her belly button is like a mouth.
[pantomiming his belly button moving like a mouth and doing the voice]
Jerry : I'm bored. Talk to me.
Elaine Benes : Oh, I gotta start taking these "stupid" warnings more seriously.