Photos
Quotes
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[first lines]
Jerry Seinfeld : I think the idea behind the tuxedo is kind of the woman's point of view that men are all the same. We might as well dress them that way. That's why, to me, a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful, glowing bride and... some guy. The tuxedo is a wedding-safety device created by women because they know that men are undependable. So in case the groom chickens out, everybody just takes one step over and she marries the next guy. That's why the wedding vow isn't "Do you take Bill Simpson?" It's "Do you take... this man?"
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[last lines]
Jerry Seinfeld : I had some friends drag me to an opera recently. They all got those little opera glasses. Do you really need binoculars? I mean, how big do these people have to get before you can spot them? These opera kids, they're going 250, 280, 325. They're wearing big white woolly vests with... The women have, like, the breastplates, the bullet hats, the horns coming out. If you can't pick these people out, forget opera, think about optometry. Maybe that's... Maybe that's more your thing.
