- David Healy: [holding a piece of paper] I, uh... I got this thing at school today.
- Roseanne Conner: Oh, man, I hate things from school. The last thing was a note from the principal. It said D.J. was selling my bras.
- [just after announcing to Dan, Roseanne, and Darlene, that he wants to spend a month in Europe with the graduation money his mother sent him]
- Darlene Conner: [Darlene leaves the room, David follows] Hey, are you mad or something?
- Darlene Conner: No, Pierre. I'm delighted that you're going to be in Europe all summer while I'm stuck in Lanford in "Château de Lard-ass".
- Roseanne Conner: You've got to give a guy his dreams, then he won't notice that you control his reality.
- Darlene Conner: [as Mary Anne, to Roseanne who's Ginger] Why am I Mary Anne? I've never been to Kansas, I've never been on a farm, and I resent the implication that you're prettier than I am.
- Roseanne Conner: [as Ginger] Lost and forgotten, this is what I get for signing up with William Morris.