NewsRadio (TV Series)

Who's the Boss: Part 2 (1998)

Phil Hartman: Bill McNeal

Quotes 

• Bill : Lisa and you were both strong candidates. There was really no way to choose between you two.

  Dave : Then why did every single person vote against me?

  Bill : Joe voted using a random number generator. Beth voted against you because Lisa gets fewer phone calls and doesn't like coffee. Matthew is a lifelong Republican, so he had no choice.

  Dave : And why didn't you vote for me?

  Bill : I still think I did. I guess this is one of those things we'll never know the full truth.

• [Dave and Lisa are forced to campaign for a job neither wants] 

  Bill : I have a two-part question, chief. One, what does Lisa look like naked? And two, what does Lisa feel like naked? This question is for both candidates.

  Dave : I'll field this one. As a prospective news director, it would be improper for me to answer that question. But if the unthinkable was to happen and I was to lose this election, well, then I could answer that question in almost pornographic detail.

  Bill : Gooood answer.

• Jimmy James : Everybody ready to count 'em up? All right, here we go. All righty. First one is for... Lisa. Very good. Second one right here is for... Lisa again. And we got a third one for... Lisa. And the last one is for... Lisa. The people have spoken. Dave, come on. I think it's customary to make a concession speech.

  Dave : Yeah. Uh, okay. Uh, well, ladies and gentlemen, I guess I-I just want to say, uh--WHAT HAPPENED? Huh? I mean, you all said you were gonna vote for me!

  Lisa Miller : Wait, wait. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

  Dave : You all...

  Lisa Miller : Wait a minute. They all said the same thing to me.

  Dave : What?

  Lisa Miller : Yeah. They all came to me and told me they were gonna vote for me, but they didn't want you to know.

  Dave : What? So you were all just covering your asses, huh? You just wanted to be on the right side no matter who won, huh? Huh?

  Bill : [awkward pause]  I voted for you.

  Dave : No, you didn't, Bill. No one did!

  Bill : [awkward pause]  I demand a recount.

  Jimmy James : Okay. Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, and Lisa. Well, there you go.