Monty Python's Flying Circus (TV Series)
Michael Ellis (1974)
Michael Palin: Second Store Assistant, Mr. Hartford, 'University of the Air' Announcer, Surgeon, Lift Woman, Queen Victoria, Mr. Bradford, Complaints Manager
Quotes
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Customer : What do you feed them on?
Second Store Assistant : Blancmange.
Customer : Blancmange?
Second Store Assistant : I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that. Ah no, you don't feed them at all.
Customer : What do they live on?
Second Store Assistant : They don't, they die.
Customer : They die?
Second Store Assistant : Of course they do, if you don't feed them.
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Complaints Manager : Take a seat, I'm sorry it's on fire.
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Second Store Assistant : So sir that is, if I may say so, 184 pounds 1 and a half p, sir.
Customer : Oh, will you take a check?
Second Store Assistant : Ah yes sir, if you don't mind leaving a blood sample, and uh, a piece of skin off the back of the scalp, just here sir. Sorry it's just for identification, you know, can't be too careful.
Customer : I think I'll put it on account.
Second Store Assistant : I should think so, much less painful.