- Al: Marcy, get I get in front of you? I only need to buy a stick of gum.
- Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy: Eat hot death, loser!
- Al: [looks at a magazine stand] Oh, the National Enquirer. Look at this, "Steve Rhoades marries Cher."
- Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy: Where? Where?
- [the Bundys cut Marcie in line and won a 1,000,000th customer shopping spree]
- Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy: [to the check-out lady] Hey! I was the next in line!
- Al Bundy: What are you complaining about? You still are.
- [Al's wiring has blown out the neighborhood's transformer on the hottest day of the year]
- Peggy: Oh, the whole neighborhood's gone dark!
- Al: Well, at least they don't know it's our fault.
- Neighbor: Bundy did this!
- Crowd: BUNDY! BUNDY! BUNDY!
- Kelly: God, where did they get the torches and the pitchforks so fast?
- Al: Shut up! Put your weight against the door, they're coming in!
- Al: Oh miss, I think you dropped something.
- Nibbles: Oh.
- [bends over, showing cleavage]
- Nibbles: Thank you market dweller.
- Kelly Bundy: Dad? Dad? Daddy.
- Al: What?
- Kelly Bundy: Do you *want* anything?
- Al: Why, yes, I have a strange yearning for some melons...
- [sees Marcy]
- Al: and a plucked chicken.
- Marcy D'Arcy: I thought I smelled shoes.
- Kelly Bundy: Is it just me or is it getting warmer in here?
- Al Bundy: That's just because I've got it on... Der low. Let's turn it up. Let's turn it up to... Blitzkrieg. There. What do you feel now?
- Peggy Bundy: Anger.
- Kelly Bundy: Disgust.
- Bud Bundy: Loathing.
- Peggy Bundy: Disappointment.
- Bud Bundy: Despair.
- Al Bundy: All right. I ll just ease this baby up to Der freezing my heinie off.
- Al: Kids, we're moving into the drug store down the street.
- Manager: Buy something, or you'll be moving into the County Jail.
- Al: OK. Peg. Checkbook.
- Manager: Cash only, Bundy, and I STILL want two forms of ID.
- Al: Family meeting. OK, give me all your money.
- [Peg and Kids give money to Al]
- Al: Eighteen cents. When I asked you for money to buy a battery for the Kaiser you said you didn't have a dime.
- Peggy Bundy: No, we said we didn't give a DAMN.
- Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy: When we were burning you in effigy, I ran into people I hadn't seen in years. We sat around. We sang our favorite folk songs like, "If I had a hammer, I'd drive it through Al Bundy's skull."