Married... with Children (TV Series)

No Chicken, No Check (1993)

David Faustino: Bud Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bud : Why don't you buy us a new car, Dad?

  Al : Why didn't I think of that? New cars for everybody. What about you Peg; would you like a new BMW?

  Peggy : I don't know. I've always seen myself in a Jaguar.

  Al : Oh, if we could only find one that hungry.

• [Al and the kids have returned from the auto auction] 

  Peggy : Did you buy the kids a car, Al?

  Kelly : [off screen]  DON'T TOUCH MY CAR! I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOUR HANDS HAVE BEEN!

  Bud : [off screen]  IN THAT CASE YOU SHOULDN'T BE SITTING IN IT!

  Al : Yes, I did. And, as you can see, all of my worries about them fighting were unfounded.

  [Looks out the window where Kelly has Bud in a headlock beating him on the head] 

  Al : On the upside, however, I did get them to knock off $100. Why pay for seat belts if you don't have brakes?

• Bud : Hey, Kel. Guess what; I've got a date tonight with a foreign exchange student who's so easy she makes you look like a calculus problem.

• Al : [Al is explaining the auto insurance policy to Kelly]  One: you can't drive on paved roads. Two: cars have the right of way. And because you have to always be on official farm business...

  [pulls out a live chicken] 

  Al : This must always be in your car, hence the South Forty motto "No Chicken, No Check".

  Bud : [comes through the front door]  Hey, Kel.

  [looks at Al] 

  Bud : South Forty Insurance, Dad?

  Al : It's a damn fine company, "The Farmer's Best Friend" next to a sheep and a tall wheat field.

• Kelly : Does your date mean more to you than my happiness?

  Bud : A milkshake means more to me than your happiness.

• Kelly Bundy : Not tonight, I have a date with Neuter.

  Bud Bundy : You can go out with Dad anytime.

• [Bud and Kelly are double dating at the drive-in] 

  Sonya : American movies are so rich and confusing. So much texture and subplot.

  Bud : Well, the thing to remember is that Elmer is mad at Bugs because he tied his gun barrel into a bow.

  Kelly : Exchange student, huh? What did we send her country; a head of lettuce and some sand?

• Bud : Well, we finished the errands, Mom. We got everything you wanted from the store.

  [starts taking contents out of the bag] 

  Bud : Bourbon-flavored bonbons, romance novels, Kenny G CD...

  Kelly : Mmm, you and Dad are going to have quite a time tonight, huh, Mom?

  Bud : Batteries...