- Sgt. Zelmo Zale: Look, Colonel, this sort of trading goes on constantly. Major, you remember the time you wanted those leather hip-boots with the spiked heels?
- Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan: Never mind!
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: Spiked heels? How do you fish with those on?
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: Where are you from?
- Harkness: Idaville, Indiana.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: No kidding. Idaville! Do you ever go to the dances at the American Legion hall there?
- Harkness: Yeah, sure.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: And on the edge of town there's this little place where you can get the world's greasiest French fries.
- Harkness: Right, Mona's.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: And what else? The Studebaker dealership always has those searchlights when they bring in the new models.
- Harkness: Hey, when were you in Idaville?
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: Never. I grew up in the same small town in Maine.
- Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan: [to Colonel Potter when they find out Sergeant Zale traded away their pentathol] Oh, let's get it over with and shoot him.
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: [to Zale, after learning he traded away the sodium pentathol] And if you feel bad about this, good!