M*A*S*H (TV Series)

Adam's Ribs (1974)

Wayne Rogers: Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre

Photos 

Quotes 

• Master Sgt. Tarola : What's in the package?

  Hawkeye : Ribs and sauce from Chicago.

  Master Sgt. Tarola : Adam's Ribs?

  Hawkeye : You know it?

  Master Sgt. Tarola : Are you kidding? I'm from Joliet. I'd walk to Chicago on my knees in the snow for a takeout order.

  Trapper : He's one of you.

  Master Sgt. Tarola : How many you got?

  Hawkeye : 40 pounds.

  Master Sgt. Tarola : I'll take twenty, and a quart of sauce.

  Hawkeye : Ten, and a pint of sauce.

  Master Sgt. Tarola : Twelve, and a pint and a half. And coleslaw.

  Hawkeye : We didn't order any cole slaw.

  Master Sgt. Tarola : You sent all the way to Chicago, and no cole slaw?

  Hawkeye : Forgive us, we're draftees.

• Henry : [after Hawkeye starts a riot in the mess tent over the food]  Just who do you think you are, Pierce?

  Hawkeye : I broke under the pressure, warden.

  Trapper : Eleven straight days, Henry!

  Henry : Well, don't you think I tried for some relieviation?

  Radar : Yes, sir?

  Henry : Radar, what happened to the frozen turkey I ordered you to order?

  Radar : I put in the requisition, sir, marked "urgent."

  Henry : Well?

  Radar : They sent us five thousand athletic supporters.

  Trapper : Marked "urgent!"

  [laughs] 

  Henry : I don't find that such a rib-tickler, Mclntyre.

• Hawkeye : Right now, I'm thinking of bigger things.

  [Looks at Klinger] 

  Hawkeye : Don't you come from Chicago?

  Radar : [Klinger was about to talk]  No, he's from Toledo.

  Klinger : But I get my lingerie from Chicago.

  [Trapper is cleaning a glass] 

  Trapper : And it's beautiful.

  [Hawkeye, Radar, and Klinger stares at him] 

  Trapper : I hear.

• PA Announcement : Attention all personnel: Due to conditions beyond our control, we regret to announce that lunch is now being served.

  Trapper : They've got a lot of guts.

  Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.

• Major Pfiefer : 4077 MASH... Oh yeah, I talked to some cocky little nurse at your outfit.

  Trapper : [to Hawkeye]  Radar.

• Hawkeye : Trapper, wake up!

  Trapper : [Talking in his sleep as he hugs his pillow]  Oh Mildred!

  Hawkeye : Trapper, you, me, the ribs! We're all in Korea!

  Trapper : [Instantly awake]  Let's eat!

• Trapper : You know, I just remembered. I knew a redhead in Chicago. Oh boy, you talk about your ribs.

  Hawkeye : Yeah yeah?

  Trapper : What was her name? Mildred. That's right. Mildred Feeney.

  Hawkeye : Would she do you a favor?

  Trapper : She already did.

• Trapper : [on phone, with an old girlfriend]  Mildred, this is John McIntyre. That's right, Big John.

  Hawkeye : Big John!

  Radar : [smiles]  Lucky!