- Eric Catchpole: [At the funeral] Was he really such a great forger?
- Tinker Dill: [Taking exception] Copyist! They're only a forger when they're caught.
- Tinker Dill: Have you read "Kelly on Restoring Oil Paintings"?
- Eric Catchpole: [Sarcastically] I think I'll wait for the film.
- Eric Catchpole: [to Lady Jane about Lovejoy's car] Between you and ma, your Ladyship, the only genuine antique around here is that car!
- Lovejoy: Cheeky sod! She's prractically pawing the ground - ready to be off.
- Lady Jane Felsham: [Listening to the music from the snuffbox] It's Bach!
- Lovejoy: Bach?
- Lady Jane Felsham: Mmm.
- Lovejoy: Why on earth should Sam choose Bach? Bach Bach blacksheep was more in his line.
- Lovejoy: Everyone has their price.
- Celia Mattock: Quite. What's yours?
- Lovejoy: My pick of the lovelies.
- Smiley O'Reilly: We'd have to be friggin' idiots to do that!
- Lovejoy: Then it's a deal. Cheers, George.