The Larry Sanders Show (TV Series)

I Was a Teenage Lesbian (1995)

Jeffrey Tambor: Hank Kingsley

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Hank Kingsley : Good morning, Brian!

  Brian : Morning. We've been waiting for you.

  Hank Kingsley : I've had had... and I'm not kidding, the most perfect morning of my life. The breeze coming through the window, the birds are singing, the sun is shining and I just took the most incredible dump, I mean, I haven't had one like that since, I believe, Reagan was in the White House.

  Brian : Hank?

  Hank Kingsley : Yeah?

  Brian : I just got a call some five minutes ago and it's about your agent.

  Hank Kingsley : Oh good, Sidney decided to drag his 90 year-old ass to the phone and call me?

  Brian : He's in Cedars Sinai in intensive care, he had a major heart-attack.

  Hank Kingsley : What?

  Brian : Yeah. They don't... they don't know if he's gonna make through the day.

  Hank Kingsley : Oh my God. Sidney... I knew something like this was gonna happen. You see, it's true what they say bad things coming in three. First my divorce, then the pool filter catching on fire and now this. I gotta go, I gotta be with him.