- Hank: You're the only one who can save my lawn, Dale.
- Dale Gribble: You're right, I am. The question is - why should I?
- Hank: I'll give you two dollars.
- Dale Gribble: Pffft. Ha! Two dollars?
- Hank: Because you're my friend.
- Dale Gribble: Oooooooo! I'm Hank's friend! Tie a ribbon around me!
- Hank: Because I'm coming to you man to man offering you a genuine apology for choosing a lawn over a lifetime of friendship.
- Dale Gribble: Geez, Hank. I was only holding out for $2.50.
- Dale Gribble: If anyone's bringing down the value of this neighborhood, it's me. My lawn's nuthin' but ragweed and auto parts.
- Luanne Platter: Aunt Peggy, Buckley wants to bring his 38 to shoot off at the block party, but Uncle Hank said nuthin' bigger than a 22.
- Hank: [showing Peggy a hoe] What do you think? Does this say 'Hank Hill'?
- Peggy Hill: I thought we just came for seed and fertilizer. Why are men so attracted to hoes?
- Hank: For God sakes, the man mows with the grain.
- Peggy Hill: Ugh, he's the devil.
- Hank: I'm the block captain. I should have the best lawn for Cinco de Mayo. But look at her, something's wrong. She's like a pretty girl with short hair.