The King of Queens (TV Series)
Golden Moldy (2003)
Kevin James: Doug Heffernan
Photos
Quotes
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Carrie Spooner Heffernan : You lied?
Doug Heffernan : I may have.
Carrie Spooner Heffernan : You may have, or you did?
Doug Heffernan : I may have did.
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[Arthur calls Doug in St. Croix]
Arthur Spooner : Douglas? It's Arthur Spooner.
Doug Heffernan : Okay, last name not necessary.
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Arthur Spooner : Hello kids, what you got there?
Carrie Spooner Heffernan : Just some brochures, actually it looks like we're going down to the Caribbean next week.
Arthur Spooner : We are? Oh, I'm so excited!
Doug Heffernan : Well, I hope you're excited for us!
Arthur Spooner : I see. Once again I humiliate myself by assuming I'm a member of this family.
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Mike Ross : You really love your golf.
Doug Heffernan : Of all the major sports, it's the closest to just sitting down!
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Mike Ross : It's ok if things are a little tight.
Doug Heffernan : Things aren't tight here - things are very loose! What makes you think they're tight?
Mike Ross : I dunno, I'm sitting on a rock and I'm eating food from 7-11!
Doug Heffernan : It's from an A&P, so get your facts straight!
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Arthur Spooner : Kids, sorry to be the killjoy here, but I don't think this is a good time for you to be going away.
Doug Heffernan : Why not?
Arthur Spooner : There's a very nasty odor down in the basement.
Doug Heffernan : Yes, and now it has travelled up here!
Arthur Spooner : Old people smell - cutting edge humor Douglas!
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Carrie Spooner Heffernan : The sea air smells great, doesn't it honey?
Doug Heffernan : [Sniffing] Somebody around here has potato chips!
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Mike Ross : I heard they have this dish here called sizzling lobster, it's supposed to be incredible.
Doug Heffernan : Well, slap a bib on me and watch my arteries close up!