Home Improvement (TV Series)

Don't Tell Momma (1994)

Patricia Richardson: Jill Taylor

Quotes 

• Jill : [not knowing Tim smashed her car on Tool Time]  I was too busy to see your Tool Time show; sorry. How was it?

  Tim : Ohh, it was great, awesome.

  Randy : Smashing!

• Jill : [after Jill discovers her car after Tim drops a beam on it]  Okay, so let me get this straight: First, you give me a hard time because I get one little, tiny scratch on the door. Then you have someone drop a building on it. Not only do you not tell me about any of this, but you also tell other people it was my fault.

  Tim : It could have been your fault.

  Jill : What?

  Tim : Maybe that scratch weakened the entire structure of this car, mmmm?

  Jill : [angrily]  That is such a crock.

  Tim : Look, the important thing is this could've happened to anyone.

  Jill : Yeah, anybody who parked under a crane. And what kind of a crane operator drops a beam on a car? We should just sue this jerk for all he's worth.

  Tim : Oh, we wouldn't want to do that.

  Jill : Why?

  Tim : You married him.

  Jill : Oh, no. You did this? Do you mean we have to pay for this?

  Tim : Don't worry, I'm sure we got some beam stuff in our insurance.

  Jill : Tim, why couldn't you just leave my car alone?

• Jill : Did you take my car to the body shop?

  Tim : Yes I did.

  Jill : Well, how does it look?

  Tim : Well, I'll tell you what, can't even notice the scratch.

• Jill : Actually, I love the Nomad. I like it when I pull up to stoplights and those car guys are there. They always rev their engine.

  [Tim nods] 

  Jill : Then I rev *my* engine.

  [Tim grins and nods enthusiastically] 

  Jill : and I waste 'em off the line.

  [Tim grunts] 

• Tim : How's the studying going?

  Jill : Fine. Except, I have a test in three days in a book that I can see through

  [lifts up the book] 

  Tim : Maybe it'll be an open book test.

  Jill : [Sarcastically]  Ha ha ha.