- General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Klink! I'm warning you. Keep your costs down, put your house in order, or the next time you want caviar, you won't have to import it - you can catch your own on the Volga.
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: But you'll have to eat it there. You can't take it home, sir.
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: General, I promise you, I will bring all my skill and my intelligence to bear on this problem.
- General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Who knows? You may be able to solve it anyway.
- General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: [reading the plan] Amazing. You obviously worked hard on this plan, Klink.
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: Thank you, General Burkhalter. I have given it many hours of intelligent thought.
- General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: That's what's so amazing.
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: [Klink explaining the purchasing plan] I understand they're already beginning to call it the "Klink Plan".
- General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Oh? Who calls it the "Klink Plan"?
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh, some of the gang back at the stalag.
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: You have practically ensured the success of the "Klink Plan".
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: Who calls it the "Klink Plan"?
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: Some of the gang back in Berlin.
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: You're having a dream, dream, dream.
- Sgt. Schultz: I see men with boxes over my bed.
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: It's part of the dream, dream, dream.
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: Sir, it may cost a lot more, but may I remind you, I have never had an escape in Stalag 13.
- General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Perhaps you should. It might be cheaper.