- # 99: Max, since General Pajarito took over this country it's a very dangerous place.
- Maxwell Smart: But we don't have anything to worry about, 99, we're not citizens, we're just spies.
- General Pajarito: [on phone] Will these Control agents never learn? San Saludos is a wonderful place to visit... but nobody leaves here...
- Soldier: [on other line] Si.
- General Pajarito: [hangs up the phone] ...for long...
- # 99: I hope these disguises work, Max.
- Maxwell Smart: Don't worry, 99, my own mother wouldn't recognize me. Of course I'm not expecting my mother today.
- General Pajarito: [shouting] Leap! Leap! Do your famous leap!
- # 99: [posing as the famous dance team Conchita & Conchata] What are they saying Max?
- Maxwell Smart: He likes me. He likes me a heep!
- Maxwell Smart: [having just heard a gunshot] What was that?
- Guard: That was Lucky Francisco. He won the drawing today in the national lottery.
- Maxwell Smart: And they shot him?
- Guard: Si. That is the first prize.
- General Pajarito: [Max, 99, Isabella and Don Carlos are facing a firing squad] My friends, we've come to the end of the road. It grieves me deeply to have to say goodbye to you. Especially to you, Isabella. We could have been so happy together.
- Isabella: You pig! You dog! You rotten filthy swine, you low-life!
- Maxwell Smart: Isabella, cool it. You wanna get us in trouble?
- Maxwell Smart: [Max has inflated a raft instead of a balloon] Well, the way I look at it 99, there's only one thing that will save us.
- # 99: What's that, Max?
- Maxwell Smart: A river.