Friends (TV Series)

The One with Rachel's Other Sister (2002)

Jennifer Aniston: Rachel Green

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rachel : I had a baby.

  Amy : I decorated dad's office.

  Rachel : Ah yeah. Well unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, not the same thing.

• Rachel Green : Emma, this is your first Thanksgiving! What are you thankful for? Mommy's boobies?

  Ross : A lot of people are thankful for those.

• [In Ross's apartment] 

  Amy : Could I take this call upstairs?

  Ross : Sure... but we don't live there.

  Amy : [to Rachel]  I thought he was a doctor.

  Rachel : He has a Phd.

  Amy : Ewww...

• Rachel Green : [Emma cries]  She needs changing.

  Chandler Bing : Oh no no, I'll get her. I am super competent, totally responsible, and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there, Emma, just let me get my trusty diaper bag.

  Chandler Bing : [accidentally knocks over a chair, spilling the box with the good china, smashing them to pieces]  Well, what do you know? I guess I'll be the one that dies first.

• Amy : Ok, how about this? If you guys die, and the crazy plate lady dies then do I get the baby?

  Chandler Bing : No, if crazy plate lady... if Monica dies then I would get Emma, right?

  Rachel : Well, actually...

  Chandler Bing : Actually, what?

  Ross : It's just that in that case then Emma would go to my parents.

  Chandler Bing : What?

  Amy : [to Chandler]  Hurts, doesn't it?

  Joey : Who has to die for me to get her?

• Amy : [fighting with Rachel while an uncomfortable Ross looks on]  You know what I cannot believe? That my so-called sister gets a 30% discount from Ralph Lauren - and I still have to pay *retail*?

  Rachel : [laughing]  It's 45!

  Amy : You bitch. You just think you're so perfect, with your new baby and your small apartment.

  [Ross slams a towel on the kitchen table] 

  Amy : Well, let me tell you something: your baby isn't even that cute!

  Ross : Too far, Amy. Too far.

• Rachel : I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving.

  Ross : You know, I think that's a great idea. It'll be like the Pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis.

• Amy : [referring to their other sister Jill]  Who's gotten really fat by the way.

  Rachel : Really?

  Amy : Mom says she's gained like 15 pounds.

  Rachel : Hips and thighs?

  Amy : Ass and face.

  Rachel : Ohh. I thought she was on Atkins.

  Amy : She was. Carbs found her.

• Rachel : You didn't even come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby.

  Amy : Oh yeah, well you didn't come to see me in the hospital when I was getting my lips done.

  Rachel : I did the first time! And you want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you?

  Ross : Emma

  Rachel : Who's side are you on?

• Amy : Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. Do you even realize how much that hurt me?

  Rachel : Timmy was my boyfriend. And you went out with him.

  Amy : Oh come on, that was 20 years ago. Get over it.