- Monica: Phoebe, having a heart attack is nature's way of telling you to slow down
- Chandler Bing: I always thought having a heart attack is nature's way of telling you to die.
- [to Phoebe]
- Chandler Bing: But you're not gonna die. Well, you are gonna die. But you're not gonna die today. I wish I was dead.
- Monica: [Chandler is hired as Joey's assistant] You realize what you are now, don't you?
- Chandler Bing: What?
- Monica: You're his bitch!
- Phoebe Buffay: No! No! No!
- Monica: Wait, you didn't just sit on my Kit Kats did you?
- Phoebe Buffay: No. There was a little... little dip in the market and I lost 13 million dollars.
- Chandler Bing: But the Kit Kats are alright?