- Luke Duke: [Daisy leads race, and he has to admit:] She does all right though.
- The Balladeer: [voice-over] I know what you're thinking. It ain't natural to see General Lee losing a race like this to Cousin Daisy. But the last time Bo and Luke beat Daisy into town, she put starch in their undershorts. And it gave them a little something to think about.
- Daisy Duke: [victoriously] You lose, boys. Another blow for equal rights!
- [chuckles]
- Bo Duke: I tell you, next time, my pride's gonna come before my shorts.
- Luke Duke: [chuckles, but reconsiders] Not mine.
- The Balladeer: [as fashion model type Thelma Claire alights from passenger coach] In most big cities, the airport is an exciting place. But in Hazzard County, the bus station can provide about as much excitement as anybody would want.
- [blonde wears short red dress]
- The Balladeer: Mm. Get my drift?
- [the bus pulls away, she scans town for assistance with her two heavy suitcases]
- Luke Duke: [in General Lee, spots pretty girl at bus stop] I think I'm in love.
- Bo Duke: Well, I saw her first.
- Luke Duke: She ain't your type.
- Bo Duke: She sure is.
- [the General stops with screeching tires, reverses back, stops next to the young blonde, tires screeching again]
- Bo Duke: Howdy!
- Luke Duke: Hey, excuse me and my cousin here, ma'am, but we're, uh, conducting a survey on whether women prefer little boys with blonde hair or men with dark hair.
- Thelma Claire 'T.C.' Rogers: Well, I prefer men who are bald.
- [big smile]
- Bo Duke: Well, that ain't no problem at all. You see, I got a razor back in the car. I'll get it.
- Luke Duke: Well, how long you home for, Thelma Claire?
- Thelma Claire 'T.C.' Rogers: Well, uh, that kind of depends on if I win or lose.
- Bo Duke: [Bo and Luke glance at each other] If you win or lose what?
- Thelma Claire 'T.C.' Rogers: The election. I've decided to run against Boss Hogg for Supervisory Administrator of Hazzard County.
- Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: [overheard] Judas Priest on a pony! Administrator! Oh! Oh!
- [scampers off to go squeal]
- Luke Duke: Well, you got your work cut out for you if you're running against him. He wrote the dirty campaign cookbook.
- Thelma Claire 'T.C.' Rogers: You think I don't know it? He beat my daddy out of the same job fifteen years ago by stealing the pencils out of the voting booths. But not this time!
- Bo Duke: You know... I kinda like your, uh... your spunk.
- [chuckles]
- Bo Duke: Well, I'll tell you what, if you need a campaign manager, you've got one right here!
- Luke Duke: [not to be outdone] Seeing as how you're running against Boss Hogg, you'd probably need a couple of campaign managers. Why don't we just... discuss strategy over a tall, cool...
- [tries leading Thelma Claire off]
- Luke Duke: Excuse us, Bo.
- Bo Duke: Excuse you, Luke!
- Thelma Claire 'T.C.' Rogers: No, I don't have time for that. You see, I've got to get settled in and get over to the courthouse and file as a candidate before six o'clock.
- Bo Duke: Well then, what are we waiting for? Give me one of these!
- [grabs suitcase]
- Luke Duke: I'll get it!
- [grabs other suitcase]
- Enos: Sheriff, you want me to keep looking for 'em or you wanna go eat?
- Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: No, Enos, just forget it. Do you hear? Just forget it!
- Enos: Yes, sir. This here is Enos. Forgettin' it. Over and out.