The Cosby Show (TV Series)

It's All in the Game (1990)

Bill Cosby: Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable

Quotes 

• Olivia Kendall : Are you still angry?

  Cliff : Yes! You know you're not supposed to touch any machines in this house.

  Olivia Kendall : I'm sorry. I'll never touch another machine in here. I'll pay for the repairs out my allowance.

  Cliff : Do you know just how much it's going to cost to fix the washing machine? A bazillion dollars.

  Olivia Kendall : I have a bazillion dollars in my bank account

  Cliff : No, you don't.

  Olivia Kendall : [Olivia gives Cliff a big raspberry on the side of his cheek] 

• Cliff : You know what we're gonna do? When Rudy gets her driver's license, you and I are gonna go down to the salvage dump. We're gonna pick out the worst, bashed, smashed-looking thing that still runs and we're gonna let her drive it. That way if anybody hits her, it'll be an improvement.

  Theo : I know how you feel, Dad.

  Clair : No, you don't.

  [Cliff starts laughing] 

  Theo : Hey, I can appreciate the pressures both of you are under. And if you ask me, I think y'all doing a bang up job.

  Clair : Theo, shut up.

• Clair : [discussing the "joys" of being a parent]  How about getting in the car to go to work and discovering that your daughter's understanding of the word "empty" means, "I'll just park the car over here and Mom will fill it up?"

  Cliff : How about leaving the car radio on, so that both of us have a heart attack last time? You left the thing up so loud, your mother's hair went straight up!

• Theo : Dad, all those stories we've come to find out are not true.

  Cliff : What? What? Who said? From who?

  Theo , Denise , Vanessa , Rudy : Grandpa!

  Cliff : You're going to believe a man that age?

• Theo : You guys act like you don't do some bad things to us, you know.

  Clair : I would like to know what we ever asked you to do except hang up your clothes before they take root.

  [the kids start screaming in frustration] 

  Cliff : We're not being paid to look after you all! And there's not a check big enough to take care of you!

• Denise : [talking about Theo's bad baseball experience]  Okay, so it took a little time. What's the big deal?

  Cliff : Right! No big deal! Now there's the key. You guys always say things like "no big deal." Some of the greatest lies ever told by you kids - "No big deal." "I forgot." "I'll pay you back later." "It was like that when I found it. I swear, Mom, Dad..."

  Cliff , Clair : It was like that when I found it.

  Vanessa : [about the car she crashed]  Mom, Dad, I just want to say that I'm really sorry.

  Clair : Please add that to the list. "I'm really sorry."

  Cliff : Yes, and the other one that's key - "What are you doing home so early?"