Cheers (TV Series)
Sisterly Love (1989)
Ted Danson: Sam Malone
Photos
Quotes
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Rebecca Howe : Sam, why are you so desperate to see my sister and I make up? I mean, what is it to you? Is this another stupid ploy to get me into bed?
Sam Malone : Rebecca, don't be ridiculous, I'm thinking of both of you.
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Sam Malone : You are Susan Howe, the actress. I loved you in that two-headed movie.
Susan Howe : Oh, which one? I did two of them. Was it the one where the head was coming out of my neck?
Sam Malone : Yeah, that's the one.
Susan Howe : Oh thank goodness, because the other one I am not proud of.
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Rebecca Howe : [having caught her sister attempting to seduce Sam] Oh no, sister. I don't hurt anymore. I am way beyond hurt.
Sam Malone : Don't be silly now, girls, please.
Rebecca Howe : [pulling out a gun] And now it is Susan Howe's turn to hurt!
Sam Malone : [shocked] Hey, that's a gun!
Rebecca Howe : It ain't licorice!
Sam Malone : [attempting to mediate] Now, come on, let's talk about this. This is silly.
Susan Howe : No, please! I'm too young to die!
Sam Malone : Rebecca...
[Susan screams just before Rebecca fires the gun at her, causing Susan to crumple to the floor]
Sam Malone : [shocked] Holy cow!
Rebecca Howe : That was for Dan Buttinger! And this is for Jeff Carnahan...
[Rebecca fires at Susan again]
Rebecca Howe : ...and Mike Deets...
[Rebecca fires at Susan again]
Rebecca Howe : ...and Sam Malone.
[Rebecca fires 3 shots at Susan again]
Sam Malone : [reeling around in shock at what he just witnessed] Oh boy, oh boy!
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Sam Malone : [upon realizing that Susan and Rebecca Howe played a practical joke on him, making him think Rebecca had killed Susan] That wasn't funny. I mean that's the kind of thing that could, you know, give somebody serious, mental damage. Am I right, Lilith?
Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane : No, it was funny, Sam.
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Sam Malone : I'm never gonna speak to either one of you again.
Rebecca Howe : Oh Sam, that's really too bad. Because you know, in a way, fending off your stupid advances brought Susan and I back together. We haven't been this close since we were kids. We're grateful.
Sam Malone : [interest piqued] How grateful?
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[Rebecca walks into the office, where her sister Susan and Sam are making out]
Rebecca Howe : Sam, I'm ready for our date... Susan!
Sam Malone : Rebecca, I can explain this.
[starts to walk over to Rebecca, but then is pulled back by his arm that was behind Susan]
Sam Malone : Ow! My finger's caught in your bra.