- Dr. Frasier Crane: [to the gang at the bar] You may ask, 'Why is Frasier sharing this information with the general public?'.
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Because you're the loneliest man on Earth?
- Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: He has another reason.
- [Kelly has just taken her first subway ride. Woody, on the other hand, just got mugged on the subway]
- Kelly Gaines: Woody, I wanted to show you that I can live without all my money.
- Woody Boyd: Well, I don't want you to live without your money. I think it's wrong for someone to have to give up their money. It kind of came to me as I was handing over my wallet.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [to the gang at the bar] You may not have noticed, but over the last year, I have allowed myself to gradually fall out of shape. I am frequently tired, and I find I no longer have the energy for some of my daily activities.
- Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: Or some of your weekly ones.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: I remember when I came back from my first trip abroad. Oh God, I was pompous and unbearable. Condascending to all my old friends. Course, I wouldn't expect you all to understand.
- Rebecca Howe: Norm, you don't have to get upset with Woody, he's just been on the trip of a lifetime, and it rubbed off a little bit. That's not such a surprise.
- Woody Boyd: [noticing that Rebecca spit a bit when she was talking] Say it don't spray it, this is cashmere, Ms Howe.
- Rebecca Howe: [grabbing him by the shirt] You little snot! I knew you back when you were just an ignorant farm boy! That was about a week-and-a-half ago!
- Woody Boyd: You're right. That was about a fortnight, wasn't it?
- [Kelly is upset that Woody doesn't want to be with her because of her family and their money. She sobs like a little girl, causing Norm to be unable to even drink his beer. Finally, he turns on the stool and addresses her... without going over to her]
- Norm Peterson: Kelly... there, there.
- Kelly Gaines: [Woody has locked himself in the main office of Cheers] Woody, aren't you ever coming out of there? You're starting to scare me.
- [Woody opens the door]
- Woody Boyd: I'm sorry Kelly, I'm not trying to scare you but it's just, your money is turning me into a monster. All my old friends hate me now.
- [Woody closes the door]
- Kelly Gaines: But everything was going so well, what happened?
- [Woody opens the door]
- Woody Boyd: I just looked into a mirror and I didn't like what I saw.
- [Woody closes the door]
- Kelly Gaines: Whatever's wrong, we can work it out.
- [Woody opens the door]
- Woody Boyd: It's a little more complicated than that, Kelly.
- [Woody closes the door]
- Sam Malone: [remarking to himself and Norm nearby] It's like having a fight with Senor Wences.
- Woody Boyd: [Woody opens the door] Come on in, Kelly.
- Kelly Gaines: Thank you.
- Norm Peterson: [after Kelly has gone into the office with Woody, and the door closes behind them] You know Sammy, you could nail that door shut right now. I didn't see a thing.
- Norm Peterson: Kelly, I don't think Woody can even afford taxis. You'll have to take the subway.
- Kelly Gaines: The what?
- Norm Peterson: The 'T,' you know, the subway.
- Kelly Gaines: Come again?
- Norm Peterson: The subway, th-the little trains that run underground? Carry people back and forth?
- Kelly Gaines: [thinking he's joking] Right, an underground train. You're such a joker, Mr Peterson!
- Norm Peterson: Kelly, they exist, an-and most people take them to work everyday!
- Kelly Gaines: [still not convinced] Sure they do, Mr Peterson. Alright, I'll take your little underground train tomorrow morning.
- [snickers as she leaves the bar]
- Kelly Gaines: Underground trains: whoo-whoo!
- Kelly Gaines: Hi everybody! Where's Woody?
- Rebecca Howe: Well he's out looking for you. What happened, Kelly? Did you get lost?
- Kelly Gaines: No, I was having such a great time I didn't want it to end! I love the subway!
- Rebecca Howe: Wait a minute. You like the subway?
- Kelly Gaines: Not at first. I got real angry because a lot of other people tried to get on 'my subway car.' And then I met some young people who apparently work for the city, because they were spray painting the walls, and they let me write 'Kelly loves Woody' in a big red heart! And then 'the pigs' came and we ran.
- Kelly Gaines: [referring to a taxidermy in Sam's office] Wow, what a big moose head!
- Woody Boyd: Kelly, I don't think this is the time for name calling.