- Spike: You're not exactly the whiz these days, either. God, I'm never gonna get paid.
- Willow Rosenberg: I am a whiz.
- Tara Maclay: She is a whiz.
- Willow Rosenberg: If ever a whiz there was.
- Riley Finn: [re. Angel] Well, there you go. Even when he's good, he's all Mr. Billowy Coat, King of Pain, and girls really like that...
- [startling Giles by walking in on him singing]
- Spike: You know, for someone who's got "Watcher" on his résumé, you might wanna cast an eye to the front door every now and again.
- Willow Rosenberg: [to Buffy] We have to face it. You can't handle Tara being my girlfriend.
- Xander Harris: No! It was bad before that! Since you two went off to college and forgot about me. Just left me in the basement to- Tara's your *girlfriend*?
- Rupert Giles: [off screen] Bloody hell!
- Riley Finn: I don't know much about Angel, or your relationship with him, but... all I ask is... if you're gonna break my heart, do it fast.
- Buffy Summers: What? You think that Angel and I...
- Riley Finn: Didn't you?
- Buffy Summers: No. Of course not... How can you even ask me that?
- Riley Finn: I don't know. Xander said...
- Buffy Summers: Xander? Oh, he's the deadest man in Deadonia.
- Buffy Summers: Angel.
- Angel: Hi. Can I come in?
- Buffy Summers: I guess.
- Angel: Uh, I, uh. I need a little more than that.
- Buffy Summers: Oh. Um... come in.
- Spike: [to Adam] You're like Tony Robbins, if he was a big, scary, Frankenstein-looking... You're exactly like Tony Robbins.
- Xander Harris: It happens that I'm good at a lot of things. I help out with all kinds of... stuff. I have skills and... stratagems, I'm very... Help me out.
- Anya: He's a Viking in the sack.
- [as Angel and Riley start to fight]
- Buffy Summers: Okay, stop it!
- [pushes them apart]
- Buffy Summers: Okay, that's enough. I see one more display of testosterone poisoning and I will personally put you both in the hospital.
- Spike: Feel it in my bones. It's, uh... called the Yoko Factor... Don't tell me you've never heard of the Beatles?
- Adam: I have. I like Helter Skelter.
- Spike: What a surprise. The point is, they were once a real powerful group. It's not a stretch to say they ruled the world. And when they broke up, everyone blamed Yoko, but the fact is, the group split itself apart. She just happened to be there. But you know how it is with kids. They go off to college, they grow apart. Way of the world.
- Buffy Summers: Sorry, you guys. We're on a clock here. Okay, A-Adam was at that cave, so maybe he was there for a reason. I-I-I could, I could go back, scope it out, track him if I have to.
- Willow Rosenberg: Right, and-and then maybe you'll get lucky, and he'll still be there, and he can rip your arms off for you. Buffy, you can't go back alone.
- Rupert Giles: [drunkenly] You never train with me anymore. He's going to kick your ass.
- Buffy Summers: Giles!
- Rupert Giles: [drink in hand] Sorry. Was that a bit honest?
- [not caring]
- Rupert Giles: Terribly sorry.
- Buffy Summers: [to Angel] Let me guess. You thought of something else *really* hurtful to say, and, well, you couldn't tell me on the phone, because the *funniest* part is that look on my face...
- Buffy Summers: Okay. Well, how long before you... un-crypt it?
- Willow Rosenberg: Hours? Days maybe. Anyone suggesting months would not be accused of crazy talk.
- Rupert Giles: Whatever happened to Latin? At least when that made no sense, the Church approved.
- Buffy Summers: I can't just wait around, Wil. The disk is no good to me unless you crack it soon.
- Anya: Hey! We worked really hard getting that. Xander delivered clothing.
- Rupert Giles: Church approved.
- [after a fight with Willow and Xander]
- Buffy: So... I guess I'm starting to understand why there's no ancient prophecy about a Chosen One and her friends.
- [first lines]
- Mr. Ward: And the men?
- Colonel McNamara: These are exceptional boys. Their capture ratio just keeps increasing. They're keeping it together... Morale is a problem. The death of Professor Walsh, the escape of the prototype... controlling the HSTs is getting harder. We have serious overcrowding in the containment areas.
- Mr. Ward: Quite a mess.
- Colonel McNamara: It's not my mess, sir. I'm just holding the fort while you figure out what you want to do with the place.
- Tara Maclay: [about the arguing going on in the other room] You think this will go on for a while?
- Anya: [nonchalant] Hard to say.
- [they look around the bathroom]
- Tara Maclay: Nice bathroom.
- Anya: [she nods] Like the tile.
- Spike: It's nothing I know. What, you think I'd come running over saying, "I've got a secret. Beat me till I talk?"
- Xander Harris: Right. Maybe we can help in other ways. Want some *fighting* pants, Buff? I can get ya some new fighting pants.