- Judge Harvey Cooper: You can stop trying to get yourself off the case, counsel. That isn't going to happen.
- Denny Crane: Look, Judge, I can't defend a man who raped and murdered a 13-year-old girl.
- Judge Harvey Cooper: Somebody's got to do it.
- Denny Crane: Why me?
- Judge Harvey Cooper: Because I said so.
- Denny Crane: [sighs] Which brings me to my second issue.
- Judge Harvey Cooper: Which is?
- Denny Crane: You're a douchebag. I don't do well with douchebags.
- Judge Harvey Cooper: [grins] That won't work, either. You will try this case.
- Denny Crane: [Alan visits Denny in jail] I'm old... and I'm not going to spend what time I have left, not even a day, defending child... rapist killers. I'd rather go to jail myself.
- [changes subject]
- Denny Crane: I hear you're afraid of clowns.
- Alan Shore: First time in my professional career I actually froze.
- Denny Crane: Bet you'd lick my shoes for a murder case, wouldn't you, kid?
- Garrett Wells: I would, sir.
- Denny Crane: [hands over a folder] Because I like you, you don't have to lick 'em. Just dust 'em with your sleeve.
- Garrett Wells: Yes, sir.
- Reporter: Animal rights activists are obviously very upset, though it should be noted there is no evidence that the cow ever complained.
- [smiles broadly at the camera]