- 80's Batman: You don't get it, son. This isn't a trash heap.
- [Batman grabs the Mutant Leader's leg]
- 80's Batman: It's an operating table.
- [the Mutant Leader shrieks with pain as a sickening crunch is heard]
- 80's Batman: ...And I'm the surgeon.
- Mutant Leader: Batman! I call you coward! Come out and face your death like a man! I kill you! I eat your heart! I show you who rules Gotham City!
- 80's Batman: Okay, son. Show me.
- Matt: We should get out of here.
- Carrie Kelley: Batman wouldn't run.
- Nick: How do you know?
- Carrie Kelley: 'Cause I know what he's really like. And you guys are both totally clueless. First of all, Batman's real old, like, about 50. And second, Robin's a girl.
- Mutant Leader: They think we a gang! They think we just noisy kids! But soon they see, we are the future! We are the law!
- [the Mutants all cheer]
- Rob: See, Don? Leader's really riffin' now.
- Don: Leader's billy berserk, man.
- Mutant Leader: I myself will kill the fool, Batman! I will rip the meat from his bones and suck them dry! Gotham City belongs to the Mutants!
- Matt: See? He was just like I said!
- Carrie Kelley: What are you talking about? Did you see the way he fought?
- Matt: Yeah, but he also had that foam thing.
- Nick: And when he flew away at the end, I'm telling you, he's not human.
- Carrie Kelley: Get off it, he's human.
- Nick: I don't know. I thought I saw fangs...
- 50's Joker: [on the radio] "Sing a song of larceny, sing it round the town! Joker's stealing laughter and Batman is going down!" HA HA HA HA! The comedy is finished!
- Security Guard: The Joker! I'd better stay on my toes!
- [Scene cuts back to the kids]
- Nick: "Better stay on my toes"? He actually said that? Out Loud?
- Matt: I don't know. This is how my uncle tells it.
- 50's Batman: Hold it right there, Joker!
- 50's Joker: Eh?
- [Joker looks up to see Batman and Robin in the skylight]
- 50's Joker: Batman!
- 50's Batman: We got your clue about stealing laughter, "The comedy is finished".
- 50's Robin: A famous line from Paliacci, the opera about a sad clown.
- 50's Batman: It was your twisted way of saying you'd steal the original score.
- 50's Robin: Now we're going to make our own clown cry.
- 50's Joker: Now for my next number, I'd like to do a little ditty for you that I've been working on for, oh, it seems like years. I call it "Bat-hoven's Last Movement."
- [laughing maniacally]
- 50's Joker: For some, I'm afraid, it may hit a sour note.
- 50's Joker: [getting the upper hand on Batman and Robin] Oh, very good! I'll have to make a note of that.
- [laughing maniacally]
- 50's Joker: Tie them up with those bow hairs. I'm not done fiddling with them yet.
- 50's Joker: Ahh, the arts!
- [picking up a priceless ukelele and plucking a string]
- 50's Joker: Mother always said I had talent.
- [looking at his goons expectantly]
- 50's Joker: Well?
- 50's Henchman: [applauding] Oh, yeah, that was good!
- 50's Henchman: All right! Yeah!
- 50's Joker: Thank you. You're too kind.
- [taking the security guard's keyring]
- 50's Joker: Truth be told, strings never were my section. I'm much better on the keys.
- [going to a case and moving to unlock it, he instead smashes it open with the ukelele]
- Nick: The way I hear it, he isn't even human! He's like a giant pterodactyl beast with big fangs and talons! And when he sees a bad guy, he swoops down from the sky and carries him off! Skree! Skree!