Barney Miller (TV Series)
Graft (1975)
Jack Soo: Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana
Quotes
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Det. Phil Fish : [talking about Kelly] He was probably snooping around into our personnel files and came up with something really big.
Capt. Barney Miller : Like what?
Det. Phil Fish : Like the fact that I cheated on my income tax.
Capt. Barney Miller : When was that?
Det. Phil Fish : About nine, ten years ago. I went to a police convention in San Francisco, and I deducted all the expenses for Bernice.
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : There's nothing illegal about that.
Det. Phil Fish : Yes, there is. I didn't take Bernice.
Capt. Barney Miller : Did the I.R.S. find out about it?
Det. Phil Fish : Yeah, they disallowed it and they took it out the next year.
Capt. Barney Miller : Well, if you're straight with the government, Kelly can't hurt you.
Det. Phil Fish : I'm not worried about Kelly, I'm worried about Bernice.
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Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : [referring to Kelly] He's probably after me. Kelly's always had a thing about Orientals being on the police force. He says we screw up the look of the St. Patrick's Day Parade.
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Capt. Barney Miller : [to Kelly] How do you like narcotics?
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : They haven't helped him a bit.
Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale : Kelly's been promoted. Yeah, he's a snooper now.
Capt. Barney Miller : Internal affairs?
[Kelly nods]
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Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : We have nothing to fear but fear itself.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Go fry a noodle.
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : That's beneath you.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : It's always me that's doing something wrong: "What'd you say this for, Wojo?" "That's out of line, Wojo."
Det. Phil Fish : Nobody says that about you, Wojo.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : How come Fish had to climb up nine flights of stairs, Wojo?
Det. Phil Fish : That was out of line.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : See? It's always somebody beefing about something I done! I wish I was back out on the streets in uniform again.
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : If you're worried about dirty marks on your laundry, maybe Kelly can accommodate you.
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Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : Look at this exacta at Aqueduct: 800 bucks.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Why do they make everything so damn difficult?
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : Number 3 and Number 4, and I always bet my age.
Det. Phil Fish : You're not 34!
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : I was when I won my last exacta.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Yemana, why don't you put that damn thing away?
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : What did I do?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : All you ever do is bet on the horses... or a football game, or a basketball game, or some crap game.
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : You left out jai alai.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Very funny. If you tried busting bookies, instead of calling them on the telephone all the time, maybe we wouldn't have a yardbird like Kelly sneaking up our keisters all the time.