- Det. Ron Harris: You gonna be sick? You gonna be sick, you tell me.
- Harold Durrell: I'm okay.
- Det. Ron Harris: Just don't get sick on me, man.
- Harold Durrell: Don't keep saying "sick".
- Angelo Dodi: [being arrested for robbery] I just wanted some of the excitement and adventure they have on TV.
- Capt. Barney Miller: [simply] Looks like you got it.
- Angelo Dodi: [somberly] Yeah... yeah, I guess so.
- Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich: We might be able to figure out this guy's next move by checking the TV Guide.
- Capt. Barney Miller: Nick already thought of that.
- Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich: Find anything?
- Capt. Barney Miller: Only that Lucy is pregnant.
- Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich: That Charlie Brown's a real devil, huh?
- Roy Jenkins: Captain, I'd like to know why Mr. Durrell is in that cage. Alcoholism is a disease, not a crime.
- Capt. Barney Miller: Alcoholism, no; attempted robbery, yes.
- Roy Jenkins: Attempted robbery?
- Harold Durrell: I held up Cottleman's liquor store.
- Roy Jenkins: You needed to drink that badly?
- Harold Durrell: No, that's what I do for a living. It never came up at the
- [AA]
- Harold Durrell: meetings.