- Andy Taylor: [deciding on dinner] You need something that builds you up.
- Opie Taylor: We could chew tar. Johnny Paul Jason says tar's real good for the teeth.
- Andy Taylor: That's an old wives' tale.
- Opie Taylor: Johnny Paul ain't married!
- Andy Taylor: What'll it be? Chicken or pot roast?
- Opie Taylor: How about if we just had some chocolate cookies and milk?
- Andy Taylor: Oh, no! Aunt Bee would skin me alive if she thought I'd give you something like that for supper!
- Opie Taylor: But she ain't here!
- Andy Taylor: What do you know about love?
- Floyd Lawson: What do I know? About love? About love? A man can't cut hair for thirty years without learning *something*!