[introduction - Hitchcock is in a chair giving someone exercises]
Self - Host: One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. Now raise your hands above your head. Higher. Higher. I wish to take this opportunity to welcome you latecomers to "Alfred Hitchcock Presents". Someone suggested I go to a slim & trim class and I decided to go even further and start one of my own. Here to encourage you beginners is an illustration of what hard work and determination can do.
[pull back to reveal a skeleton next to Hitchcock, which resumes exercising]
Self - Host: One, two, three, four. This is Mr. Webster, who I'm certain is the envy of all of you. When Mr. Webster first came to me, he weighed nearly 300 pounds. He was sluggish and run-down and was the object of ridicule because of his obesity. Furthermore, his wife had threatened to walk out on him. Now all that has changed for the better. He has his old energy back, he's quite popular socially and his wife has left him. He also has a pleasant job marveling in the anatomy department of one of our largest universities and, in evenings, is ink man in a minstrel show. And now, ladies and gentlemen, a special low-calorie story. However, first, for those of you who aren't dieting, we have this bit of treacle.