The Addams Family (TV Series)
Morticia's Dilemma (1965)
John Astin: Gomez Addams
Photos
Quotes
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Gomez Addams : But I'm already married to Morticia!
Don Xavier : You are already married to your sister?
Gomez Addams : Sister?
Don Xavier : Si!
Morticia Addams : Who?
Don Xavier : He!
Gomez Addams : Me?
Morticia Addams : I am not his sister! We're husband and wife!
Don Xavier : Husband and wife? You make insult!
Morticia Addams : Who?
Don Xavier : He!
Gomez Addams : Me?
Don Xavier : Si!
Grandmama Addams : Gee!
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[Grandmama and Morticia overhear Gomez talking about having girls all over Spain but miss the early part about them being no more than office employees]
Gomez Addams : And then there's my girl in Barcelona, and of course my girl in Toledo, and then I have two girls in Soria, and then there's good old Sadie in Lisbon.
Grandmama Addams : Do you hear what I hear?
Morticia Addams : Shhh. I'm counting.
Don Xavier : But with so many girls, can you not get rid of a few?
Gomez Addams : I'd be lost without them.
Grandmama Addams : [looking to Morticia] The wife is always the last to know.
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Morticia Addams : Gomez, do you know what the penalty is for bigamy?
Gomez Addams : Of course - two wives.
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Señor Cardona : She play, I stay. She no play, I no stay.
Morticia Addams : She play. You stay.
Gomez Addams : Okay?
Señor Cardona : Olé!
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[Gomez and Morticia happily pay for Consuella's dowery]
Don Xavier : Señor Addams, you are true Bluebeard.
Morticia Addams : Blue-"blood."
Don Xavier : Who?
Morticia Addams : He.
Gomez Addams : Me?
Don Xavier : Oh, si!
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Gomez Addams : One million Pesetas is sixteen thousand, six hundred potatoes. Well, I'll better keep this in a safe place.
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Morticia Addams : No! I will not have bloodshed in this room.
Gomez Addams : I guess we'll just have to shoot around her.
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Morticia Addams : [with whip in hand] Oh, darling, are you sure I'm ready for this?
Gomez Addams : [sitting in profile, waiting] Querida, I've taught you all my mastery of the bullwhip. Surely flicking the ash off a cigar should be child's play.