Watching the Detectives (2007)

Michael Panes: Lucien

Quotes 

• Lucien : Ya know, we could do this later if you want?

  Neil : Oh god Lucien, she's ruined it for me Lucien. I mean it's all so boring now!

  Lucien : Hey, hey let's put in a movie?

  Neil : No, no more movies. It's no use, it's not enough anymore, ya know? It's just all so mundane and so predictable Lucien. Oh hey look! It's Jayson. Jayson's going to come in here and he's going to hand me a package, and then he's going hand me his thing, and I'm going to sign the thing and I'm going to hand it right back to him, and then he's going to get in his truck and he's going to drive of. Oh, it's... it's so predictable Lucien, it's not enough anymore, ya know? Where's the... where's the adventure, you know?

  [while signing Jayson's package] 

  Neil : there's no adventure man. Where's the adventure Lucien?

  Jay : You signed it Neil Adventure.

  [Neil signs it again] 

  Jay : You crossed out Adventure and wrote adventure again.

  Neil : What does it matter Jayson? Huh!

  [Neil walks away] 

  Jay : It matters because I'm actually responsible for any package that doesn't have a valiad signature or receipt...

  Lucien : [Goes to sign the package]  Jesus Christ...

  Jay : I don't make the rules.

  Lucien : Lighten up Jayson.

• Lucien : So what was the Bet?

  Jonathan : If the bugs won, I could shove a burrito in your face.

  Lucien : Well you know the last time you lost, I was supposed to get to piss on your foot, but I never did.

  Jonathan : What you waiting for? You want to piss on my foot, be my guest.

  Lucien : Hey Neil!

  Neil : Yeah?

  Lucien : Want to see me piss on his foot?

  Neil : Uh, sure, yeah... Just not in the store.