Best Week Ever with Paul F. Tompkins (2004– )
Michael Colton: Self - Panelist
Quotes
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Michael Colton : The Lost fans are so thorough. If they could only start investigating al-Qaeda, we'd find Bin Laden in like two hours.
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Michael Colton : There's nothing Oprah can't do. Remember that budget deficit? You don't hear about that any more.
John Aboud : Gone.
Michael Colton : She took care of it.
John Aboud : It got Oprah-fied.
Michael Colton : Like a third of her salary.
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John Aboud : Sean Preston is what Britney likes to think of as a practice baby.
Michael Colton : A starter child. It's before you move onto the real one, the trophy child.
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Michael Colton : [on Aaron Carter] On what alternate universe is this kid a prize?
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Michael Colton : [Re Hot Condoms] How do you know whether the burning sensation is the hot condom or syphilis?
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Michael Colton : I did not know we had a president of beers. Is there a Senate of beers too?
Brian Huskey : I want a good president. I don't care if it's a beer, or a human being.
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Michael Colton : [Re Growing Up Gotti] She's not in the mafia. She's a humble importer of olive oil.
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Michael Colton : [Re Christina Aguilera] She got rid of all her piercings except the nipple ring. Why? Because the nipple ring is classy.
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Michael Colton : Is anybody really surprised there is another Paris Hilton sex tape? I bet if I look in my garage long enough, I will find a Paris Hilton sex tape.