- [first lines]
- George: They call it the City of Angels. Funny. In my 30 years here, I haven't seen a single one.
- Agent Masterson: Your reputation precedes you, Kang. You're a real loose cannon and if it were up to me, you wouldn't carry a badge.
- Nick: Man, who peed in your coffee?
- [introduction of "Russian Face-Off" chapter]
- Nick: Hi Chief, who's the suit?
- Chief: Nick, um, this is, uh, Agent-In-Charge Masterson from, er, the F.B.I. Seems that they had the spa under surveillance when you, ahem...
- Agent Masterson: When you pulled off your John Wayne stunt and blew it all to hell! We've been working on this for weeks!
- Nick: Sorry, sitting around stuffy vans eating donuts cramps my style.
- [shows a photo of Rocky]
- Nick: You want this Rocky? Let me show this around and see if I get any takers.
- Agent Masterson: You're telling me you know someone who can ID this guy?
- Nick: Maybe - an arms dealer out in Venice Beach. A real piece of work - done business with the Russians for years. If there's trouble, then he's in on it.
- Agent Masterson: Whoa, whoa, pal. I'm running this op now and you don't as much as take a leak unless I say so.
- Nick: [dims his eyes] Speaking of which, Masterson. Your fly's open.
- Agent Masterson: Ahhh shit!
- [zips up the zipper]
- Chief: Masterson, we agreed to let Nick do his thing - You know he's our best shot.
- Agent Masterson: Damn, don't make me regret this, Kang.
- Nick: Why does everyone keep saying that?
- Rosie Velasco: [after a fight with a Triad thug in the Chinese Bistro] What's Chinese for crazy? No way am I gonna work with you! You're outta control! I don't need this shit!
- Nick: Rosie, wait! You forgot your fortune cookie!
- Rosie Velasco: I know what it says. "Beware of nutcases!"
- [on the phone]
- Nick: Kang here... hello?
- Ancient Wu: Where the metal birds flock near the ocean, you will find revenge...
- Nick: What was that? Ancient Wu?
- Ancient Wu: The sixth edifice, at the landing place of the flying machines...
- Nick: Wait-wait, sorry, I don't quite follow...
- Ancient Wu: Santa Monica Airport, Hangar 6, asshole!
- Dispatcher: Be on the lookout for a stolen truck loaded with Activision video games. Be advised: Cargo is of great value; stop the truck with minimum damage.
- Nick: [after being kicked in the nuts by a suspect who is a stripper] Awwwww, must've said the magic words.
- Snoop Dogg: Man, you got some hype shit. I'm just gonna confiscate it for you and give you a warning. Now beat it!
- Chief: Nick, this is Rosie Velasco.
- Nick: Great. I'll have a cup of coffee, black, no sugar.
- Chief: No, Nick. Rosie is your new partner.
- Nick: In that case, make it a bourbon.
- Rosie Velasco: Screw you. Chief I've heard of this loose cannon and there's no way I'm working with him.
- [Alternate intro to "Finding Rocky"]
- Ancient Wu: Nick. Rocky holds the answer to the question that's been tormenting you for years.
- Nick: What question?
- Ancient Wu: Your father's fate.
- Nick: My father? Rafferty? What? I don't understand.
- [Rosie comes in to check on the unconscious Nick]
- Rosie Velasco: Nick! Wake up!
- Nick: [Waking up] Huh? Wha-? Oh, Rosie.
- Chief: Nick, you must have blacked out.
- Nick: Ancient Wu told me about my father.
- Agent Masterson: Oh, that's friggin' great! He dreamt it! Next thing you know, he figures out who killed JFK! Listen; While you were on your acid trip, the CIA got Rocky ID'ed for us.
- [Show's Rocky's former KGB file]
- Agent Masterson: He's an ex-KGB spy who went AWOL here back in the 70's; His name's Rasputin Kuznetsov.
- Nick: He has something to do with my father.
- Agent Masterson: SAY WHAT? You're all washed up, Kang! Read my lips; Your dad was dirty, you're a loser, end of story!
- [Nick slugs Masterson one and walks off]
- Agent Masterson: That's it, Kang... YOU ARE SUSPENDED!
- Chief: Nick, wait! Let's talk about this!