- Murli Prasad Sharma: Circuit, did you know that there are 206 bones in the body?... We never thought about that while breaking them, did we?
- Circuit: [Answering the phone] Who is this?
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Its your dadm who do you think?
- Circuit: Bro, How are you Bro?
- Murli Prasad Sharma: i need a body
- Circuit: Body? who's body Bro?
- Murli Prasad Sharma: you know, the one they use for dissection, one of those bodies.
- Circuit: Bro, how am i going to find one of those bodies?
- Murli Prasad Sharma: how would i know? just find one!
- Circuit: Dump the tension bro, you concentrate on your studies, i'll organize a body
- [he looks out onto the street and see's a chinese tourist taking pictures of some of the other gang members posing for the camera]
- Circuit: Bro, will an imported body do?
- Murli Prasad Sharma: yeah it will, just bring it quickly!
- Circuit: i'll be there in ten minutes bro, just ten minutes!
- Circuit: Hey Butkya... get a sack
- Butkya: Right away
- [leaves to get a sack]
- Chinese tourist: [taking pictures of Munna's gang members posing for the camera while doing there laundry] Thankyou! Thankyou!
- Circuit: [walking to the chinese tourist] hey Chilli chicken, you wanna take some photos of an ambulance, its a five-star ambulance?
- Chinese tourist: No, i want real india, poor people, hungry people!
- Circuit: poor hungry people, inside the ambulance, they are really bleurghh!
- Chinese tourist: Really? okay good!
- Circuit: Hey Hakka Noodle, youve come in from abroad and you only wanna see naked, hungry people, dont you want to see the taj mahal?
- Chinese tourist: no no, hungry and poor men!
- Butkya: [Runs up with a small shopping bag] Bro will this bag do?
- Circuit: [looks at the bag, takes and it whacks him across the head with it] you stupid! how the hell am i going to fit him in? am i going to fold him in there? hey you?
- [to the chinese tourist]
- Circuit: How long are you?
- Chinese tourist: 5 foot six
- Circuit: [to the gang member] get a six foot bag!
- [to the chinese tourist]
- Circuit: you come with me, you dont want to see taj mahal, i will show you hungry indian!
- [leads him into the ambulance]
- Chinese tourist: [from inside the ambulance, as circuit knocks him out] Argh!
- Murli Prasad Sharma: [slapping a goon] You over-acting piece of@#%! You're supposed to have a kidney problem, and instead you have a heart attack!
- [He points to another goon disguised as a patient]
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Look at this chap - what a natural actor! He's been playing the same role for three years and Papa's never recognised him!
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Hey circuit, check this out, who would want to marry a cry baby? he tries to commit suicide after a six month fling! Hey
- [talks to the boy in the hospital bed]
- Murli Prasad Sharma: your mother has loved you all your life, can't you stay alive for her?
- Dr. J. Asthana: Can I ask what is going on here?
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Ask! Don't be shy, ask. Come on, ask!
- Circuit: Bro, if it hurts you so much, why don't you tell your father the truth? Tell him that a don gets more respect in this city than any damn doc!
- Murli Prasad Sharma: He'll die if he comes to know - it's just a matter of seven days, Circuit, give it a rest...
- Dr. J. Asthana: Are there any questions?
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Yes, sir... If a man is dying in the admission ward, is it necessary for him to fill our a form?
- [a shocked Asthana dismisses the class, but the next day...]
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Sir, I asked you a question yesterday that you didn't answer - can't you answer it today?
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Wow, Anand bhai, you look like a hero! All the nurses are going to fight over you!
- [Circuit and Munna have just kidnapped Ghanshyam Seth]
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Circuit, I said "Point the gun," not "Shoot out all of Mumbai!"
- Circuit: Chill out, bro - these are blanks, they only sting!
- Ghanshyam Seth: [Trying to run]
- Circuit: [Pointing gun at Ghanshyam] Hey, Flo Jo, at this range even a fake bullet can do the job! What?
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Circuit, I've decided I'm going to be a doctor...
- Circuit: Uh... bro, why don't you go to sleep, and we'll talk about it in the morning...
- Murli Prasad Sharma: I knew you'd say that - you think I'm sloshed, don't you? I'm serious!
- Circuit: But, bro, what's the point?
- Murli Prasad Sharma: The point? Circuit, the point is that my father will be proud of me! You should've been there - that baldy stood there insulting my father, and I just kept quiet! I'll show him! I'll become a doctor like him and marry his daughter! Circuit, find me the best medical college in Mumbai...!
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Circuit, I'm missing Mom. I keep remembering her.
- Circuit: Your memory is very solid, man, so solid that I can see her. Hey, are you missing Dad also. I can see him too.
- [Circuit has received a telegram from Hari Prasad Sharma about his arrival]
- Murli Prasad Sharma: When?
- Circuit: Today, at five o'clock!
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Damn! We're screwed!
- Murli Prasad Sharma: [seeing goons taking down the hospital sign] HEY! Don't touch that signboard! My father's name is on that sign! Hands off! Bastards! Don't you dare!
- [He goes berserk, and has to be restrained by Circuit]
- [Munnabhai is on the phone when his gang tells him he has entered the college]
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Ninavati Hospital? Hang on a moment! Lilavati Hospital? I can't come to work today! Apollo Hospital? Hold your horses! Huh? Bread Candy Hospital? Hold, man, hold, I am busy...
- [He hangs up and with Circuit and the others, rushes off to celebrate]
- [Circuit accompanies Munnabhai to his college room]
- Circuit: [looking around] What the...? It ends almost right where it begins!
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Circuit, do you know why God sent me to this college?
- Circuit: God certainly never told me!
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Because he wants me to settle a score with the man who made my father cry!
- Circuit: Okay, if it's settled with God, all right!
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Circuit, have you ever felt as though you were going to die?
- Circuit: You know that dude Shakeel?
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Yeah?
- Circuit: He once went after me with a knife - I thought I was gonna go that day!
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Not that, Circuit - I meant, have you ever felt as though you were fatally ill, and could only wait, helpless? Watching the clock and calendar go by like a time bomb, and your life, your dreams coming face to face with THE END...
- Circuit: Bro, my mother used to say that we became stars when we die...
- [He starts pointing at stars in the sky]
- Circuit: Look, there's my father - the bugger used to beat me a lot! And there's Uncle - he was a cool dude! Hey... where's Mom? Aaah, Mumbai's getting too polluted, man...
- [last lines]
- Anand Banerjee: [looking though a photo album] And so, Munna married Suman, a.k.a. Chinky... A year later, Circuit married - that's his son, his nickname is Short Circuit... Asthana retired, and now runs Munna's hospital - there you get free doses of medicines, laughs, and hugs! Everyone can be admitted; as Asthana says "Chill out, bro! Fill in the form later!" Dr. Rustom Paveri is the new dean of the college, and is unmarried - but his father still dates the queen! Munna couldn't become a doctor, but he's still called M.B.B.S. - Married with Bouncing Babies and Smiles!... That's me... Tomorrow I'm going back to Calcutta. I'm going to miss them all - especially him... Mamu!
- [after Munna is expelled, he and Circuit are wandering around in a drunken stupor]
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Circuit, I've decided I'm going back to the village!
- Circuit: [flourishing two tickets] I knew it - that's why I've brought TWO railway tickets!
- Murli Prasad Sharma: But what will you do in the village? You can't even handle a plough!
- Circuit: Bro, if I do that, then what will the cows do?
- Dr. Suman Asthana: [about Anand] Murli, what's the point of talking to him? Nothing you say to him will reach his ears!
- Murli Prasad Sharma: So what if his ears can't hear it, he hears it with his heart! You see, when two people share a strong connection, then they can communicate to each other through their hearts...
- Dr. Suman Asthana: You're too much, Murli...
- [She leaves, but Munna tries to prove his point]
- Murli Prasad Sharma: [thinking] Ms. Suman, I hope you can hear me...
- [No response]
- Murli Prasad Sharma: [thinking] Mike testing, 1, 2, 3...
- [No response]
- Murli Prasad Sharma: [thinking] Ms. Suman, I think I'm in love with you...
- [At this, Suman finally turns and looks at Munna. She smiles, blushes and leaves]
- Dr. Rustam Pavri: [Outside the Operation Theatre at IMS] You want admission in Medical Science ? What was your HSC percentage ?
- Murli Prasad Sharma: What's that ?
- Dr. Rustam Pavri: 12th standard, 12th board.
- Murli Prasad Sharma: How much is required for admission to the medical college ?
- Dr. Rustam Pavri: Atleast 90.
- Circuit: [With an idea in mind] Sure, it was there. You'll get the certificates by this evening.
- Dr. Rustam Pavri: Good. So you have to appear in a medical entrance test, if you clear it, you are through.
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Is it necessary to appear in this test ?
- Dr. Rustam Pavri: Of course it's compulsory.
- Murli Prasad Sharma, Circuit: [Both asking together] Did YOU appear for it ?
- Dr. Rustam Pavri: OBVIOUSLY. I topped in that exam.
- Circuit: [Shaking Kurush Deboo's hand] Hey, great job dude. Very good.
- Dr. Rustam Pavri: Thanks, may I take your leave ?
- Circuit: Of course. What's your good name ?
- Dr. Rustam Pavri: Dr. Rustam Pavri.
- Circuit: And where do you stay ?
- Dr. Rustam Pavri: Nanavati Colony.
- Murli Prasad Sharma: [to Kurush Deboo] Hey, you should hurry, that patient inside is waiting for you. I too have to make a hell lot of preparations for the exam. Please go.
- Dr. Rustam Pavri: Of course. Thank you.
- Shri Hari Prasad Sharma: [to Sanjay Dutt in the film's climax] You didn't have shame in your eyes when you kept lying to me for 10 years. And today when I am proud of you, you've kept your head low !
- [Smiling]
- Shri Hari Prasad Sharma: Come give me a hug.
- Murli Prasad Sharma: [Wiping off his tears] But Bapuji, I couldn't become a doctor.
- Shri Hari Prasad Sharma: [Proudly] Doctors merely save lives. You taught the world how to live. Go upstairs, Chinki is waiting for you.
- Murli Prasad Sharma: [Unaware Gracy Singh is both Suman and Chinki] Babuji, Chinki ?
- Shri Hari Prasad Sharma: [Jokingly] Are you going or should I lift my stick.
- [Sanjay Dutt heads to the terrace]
- Murli Prasad Sharma: [On the terrace with Gracy Singh facing the opposite direction] Hey Chinki, what are you doing here ?
- Dr. Suman Asthana: I came here to discuss our marriage proposal Munna.
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Chinki, there is something I must tell you. I can't marry you.
- Dr. Suman Asthana: [Feigning shock] What ? Why's that ?
- Murli Prasad Sharma: Coz I love someone else.
- Dr. Suman Asthana: And who's that ?
- Murli Prasad Sharma: That girl back at the college, Dr. Suman. I don't know but I want to marry her.
- Dr. Suman Asthana: [Suddenly turning around] So, what are you waiting for. Go ahead.
- Murli Prasad Sharma: [Shocked] Dr. Suman ?
- Dr. Suman Asthana: [Joyfully] Wrong. Chinki. YOUR CHINKI.
- Murli Prasad Sharma: [Crying while laughing] You know you made a Mamu out of me Chinki.
- Dr. Suman Asthana: Well, not to the same extent as you.
- [Hugs Sanjay Dutt]
- Dr. J. Asthana: [Inquiring in his cabin how Sanjay Dutt made it to the Medical College] Sharma, Murli Prasad, Hari Prasad. 98.33 percent.
- [Shocked]
- Dr. J. Asthana: How ?
- Dr. Rustam Pavri: [In a helpless voice, since he wrote Sanjay Dutt's entrance exam] How'd I know Sir.
- Dr. J. Asthana: Yeah how'd you know. I want to figure out how the hell did he clear those exams.
- [Starts laughing to control his anger]
- Dr. Suman Asthana: Dad, it's ok. Why are you getting so excited ?
- Dr. J. Asthana: [Furiously] I am not excited. Do you realise who he actually is. A goon, a BHAI, elder brother.
- [Frantically]
- Dr. J. Asthana: Wait, did he see YOU ?
- Dr. Suman Asthana: Yeah he did.
- Dr. J. Asthana: Did he recognise you ?
- Dr. Suman Asthana: [laughing] Common Dad, he hasn't seen me in all these years. How'd he recognise me !
- Dr. J. Asthana: [Kissing Gracy Singh's forehead] Thank God for you my child.
- [Turning to Kurush Deboo]
- Dr. J. Asthana: Rustam, come over here.
- [shouting in Kurush Deboo's ears]
- Dr. J. Asthana: NOBODY should know she's my daughter, is that clear ?
- Dr. Rustam Pavri: Of course Sir. Be least assured.
- Dr. J. Asthana: [In a frantic state to himself] Calm down. Take a deep breath and calm down.