Mr. Deeds (2002)
Dion Anderson: Shareholder
Quotes
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Longfellow Deeds : You, sir. What did you want to be when you grew up?
Shareholder : I wanted to be veterinarian.
Longfellow Deeds : Cool. Why did you want to do that?
Shareholder : I wanted to help sick animals.
Longfellow Deeds : And what do you do now?
Shareholder : I own a chain of slaughterhouses.
Longfellow Deeds : Kind of went the other way on that one.
Longfellow Deeds : Anyone else?
Shareholder : I wanted to be a magician!
Longfellow Deeds : What do you do now?
Shareholder : I operate a pornographic website.
Longfellow Deeds : I guess that makes people happy too, in a much grosser way.
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Longfellow Deeds : I bet if we ran into the sixth grade version of ourselves, they'd give us wet willies and put bubble gum in our hair for even thinking about doing this.
Shareholder : He's right! I would've beaten my greedy ass red!
Shareholder : I would've thrown myself off the merry-go-round.
Shareholder : I would've duct tape myself naked to a chair and burnt myself with lit cigarettes.
Longfellow Deeds : Did anyone dream of becoming a psychiatrist? Just kidding.