Guide to Golf Style and Etiquette (1995 Video)
Rodney Dangerfield: Rodney
Quotes
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Rodney : [waiting for Dr. Buttman to tee off] We should've brought a deck of cards.
[after more waiting]
Rodney : Hey let's go, while we're young!
Dr. Buttman : Do you mind? I'm concentrating on my shot.
Rodney : How much you wanna bet you slice it into the mountain?
Dr. Buttman : I don't gamble.
Rodney : You don't gamble? Are you kidding? Look at your wife! And tell her to wash her hair, there's flowers growing in it!
[referring to her flower hat]
Mrs. Buttman : Aaaah!
[cries]
Rodney : Oh, a screamer! Hey doc, you wanna make your wife scream during sex? Tell her you banged her sister.
Dr. Buttman : How dare you!
Buddy : You really should be careful what you say to him, Rodney. That's Dr. Buttman. He and his wife are one of the founders of the country club.
Rodney : He's a founder, huh? I don't know where he found her, he should've left her there.
Buddy : Dr. Buttman is a very prominent proctologist.
Rodney : A proctologist? Oh, you must love it out here! Usually, he gets no view.
Buddy : That's his wife, Mary, and his son, Spencer. Spencer's also a proctologist.
Rodney : Really? Hey, doc, I guess when you retire, you leave all your assholes to Spencer here, huh?
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Buddy : [to Glyniss] Tighten your grip.
[to Rodney]
Buddy : Glyniss has always had a weak grip on the driver.
Rodney : Yeah? I found out Sonia had a great grip on the driver. That's why I fired him.
Buddy : [to Glyniss] Keep your head down, and spread your legs a bit more.
Rodney : The last time I said that, it cost me $100!
Buddy : [after Glyniss tees off] Oh, you hooked it again, dear. If you don't listen to what I say, you'll always be a hooker.
Rodney : That's why golf is so popular, you know. You can hang around hookers all day, and your wife don't get mad.
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Buddy : [distracted by Sonia teeing off] I was just admiring her form.
Rodney : I know what you mean. That form's cost me 20 gs and a trip to Hawaii. First, I took Sonia to the Virgin Islands. She didn't feel at home there, ya know. She told me I was twenty years too late.
[close-up of Sonia's cleavage]
Rodney : Hey Buddy, there's enough there for the three of us: Me, you, then me again.
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Golf Marshall : [commenting on Rodney taking a leak on the golf course] You're supposed to stick it out and hold it!
Rodney : "Stick it out and hold it", what do you think I'm doing?
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Rodney : [to the priests] I go to a lot of churches, depends on where the bingo games are.
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Rodney : [after Sonia abruptly stops the golf cart] When I told ya "don't stop short", I didn't just mean last night!