Star Trek: Enterprise (2001–2005)
John Billingsley: Dr. Phlox
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Quotes
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Dr. Phlox : Tell me, did your visit to the Xyrillian ship involve any... uh... romance?
Commander Tucker : What?
Dr. Phlox : Were you intimate with anyone?
Commander Tucker : Doc, I was over there to repair a warp reactor. What are you talking about?
Dr. Phlox : Seems you did a little more than repair work.
Commander Tucker : Meaning?
Dr. Phlox : This is a nipple.
Commander Tucker : I beg your pardon?
Dr. Phlox : Ah, ah, the blastocyst is located between the sixth and seventh intercostals.
Commander Tucker : What the hell are you talking about?
Dr. Phlox : I'm not quite sure congratulations are in order, Commander, but you're pregnant.
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Commander Tucker : I'm getting punchy.
Dr. Phlox : Why aren't you getting together with T'Pol to get your neural nodes stimulated? Too intimate?
Commander Tucker : Nah, I don't have an hour a night to waste in T'Pol's quarters. Isn't there something else I could do.
Dr. Phlox : There is Alderberan mud leeches.
Commander Tucker : What the hell am I supposed to do with those?
Dr. Phlox : Place one on your chest and one on your abdomen an hour before going to bed. Their secretions act as a natural sedative. Oh, uh, please be careful to sleep on your back. If you roll over, you might anger them.
Commander Tucker : Maybe an hour a night with T'pol isn't so bad.
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Ensign Hoshi Sato : I'm a translator. I didn't come out here to see corpses hanging on hooks.
Dr. Phlox : It goes without saying that you're going to encounter the unexpected.
Ensign Hoshi Sato : Not corpses on hooks.
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[Dr. Phlox and Crewman Cutler are watching a movie in the ship's movie theatre]
Crewman Elizabeth Cutler : We can go if you're bored.
Dr. Phlox : No, no, I'd like to stay and see what happens.
[someone from the audience hisses for silence]
Crewman Elizabeth Cutler : You won't be disappointed. The ending's classic.
Dr. Phlox : No, not the film. I'm sensing a rising emotional undercurrent in the room. I'm curious to see if it culminates in some kind of group response.
Crewman Elizabeth Cutler : They don't have movies where you come from, do they?
Dr. Phlox : Well, we had something similar a few hundred years ago, but they lost their appeal when people discovered their real lives were more interesting.
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[Lt. Reed has a bad case of the cold]
Lt. Reed : [sneezes] We can travel faster than the speed of light. You'd think we could find a cure for the common cold.
Dr. Phlox : You should be grateful. A human cold is so mild. I once had a patient with the Kamaraazite flu. He sneezed so violently, he nearly regurgitated his pineal gland.
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Dr. Phlox : Lieutenant? Are you passing through or is there something I can help you with?
Lt. Reed : Actually, there is something.
Dr. Phlox : Yes?
Lt. Reed : I assume I can depend on doctor-patient confidentiality?
Dr. Phlox : This wouldn't have anything to do with gastrointestinal distress?
Lt. Reed : Is it that obvious?
Dr. Phlox : Not at all. There's a notation in your medical file. Something about, er, an unfortunate incident during zero-G training.
Lt. Reed : The EV simulator at Lunaport. Or, as Starfleet trainees call it: the Vomitorium.
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[Dr. Phlox is infected by nanomachines and is slowly changing into a Borg]
Dr. Phlox : Why are you wearing a phase pistol?
Ensign Hoshi Sato : Oh, it's Lt. Reed's idea. If you come near me, I'm supposed to shoot you.
Dr. Phlox : I hope you'll use the stun setting.
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[the crew is watching a detective movie from the '40s in the mess hall]
Dr. Phlox : Something tells me we haven't seen the last of the detective with the bow tie.
Commander Tucker : No, he died in a house fire.
Dr. Phlox : Ah, did he? The autopsy was inconclusive. I wouldn't be surprised if the body belonged to the delivery man. With the strange limp. You never did see him leave the house.
Commander Tucker : What about the gardener? He was there too.
Dr. Phlox : Too tall. Even the primitive forensics of the mid-20th century would have determined that.
Subcommander T'Pol : [annoyed by the distraction] Perhaps we should watch and find out.
Commander Tucker : Part of the fun of a mystery is trying to solve it before it ends, using logic. You of all people should appreciate that.
Subcommander T'Pol : Then use logic more quietly.
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Dr. Phlox : When was the last time you slept?
Commander Tucker : T'Pol tattling on me?
Dr. Phlox : She's worried about you.
Commander Tucker : I appreciate that, but I'm holding this ship together with spit and bailing wire.
Dr. Phlox : Six hours.
Commander Tucker : Two.
Dr. Phlox : Four.
Commander Tucker : Done. And remind me never to buy a car from you.
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Dr. Phlox : Medically speaking, there's no accounting for taste.
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Dr. Phlox : It's unethical to harm a patient. However, I can inflict as much pain as I like.
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Dr. Phlox : If I'm not mistaken, they are preparing to mate. Do you think they might let me watch?
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Subcommander T'Pol : [in the Mirror Universe] I noticed you've been making extensive use of the library database.
Dr. Phlox : I was merely researching classical literature. I wanted to compare our major works with their counterparts in the other universe. I skimmed a few of the more celebrated narratives. The stories were similar in some respects, but their characters were weak and compassionate. With the exception of Shakespeare, of course. What I can tell, his plays were equally grim in both universes.
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Dr. Phlox : That's it, time's up!
Commander Tucker : It sure is.
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Dr. Phlox : The will of the patient is the cornerstone of Denobulan medical ethics.
Captain Archer : Don't you believe if you can help someone, you're ethically bound to do so?
Dr. Phlox : Hippocrates wasn't Denobulan.
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Subcommander T'Pol : Are you saying you believe time travel is possible?
Dr. Phlox : Surprises, subcommander. I believe in embracing surprises.
Subcommander T'Pol : I prefer to embrace logic.
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[Lt. Reed's stomach has been mutated]
Lt. Reed : Have you got anything for my stomach? Chef's food isn't sitting too well.
Dr. Phlox : Till your digestive tract is fully restored, you may want to avoid Mess Hall.
Lt. Reed : What do you suggest I eat?
Dr. Phlox : You're welcome to some of the moth larvae I feed to my Pyrithian bat.
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Dr. Phlox : Commander Tucker reassigned the repair team that that was working here. He said the Armoury was a higher priority. We'll see how low a priority I am the next time he burns his fingers on a plasma conduit.
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Dr. Phlox : I'm a physician, not an engineer.
