Coupling (2000–2004)

Kate Isitt: Sally Harper

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Jane : I'm being stalked, actually, so I'm pretty secure in my attractiveness.

  Susan : You're being stalked?

  Jane : Is that so hard to believe?

  Sally : My god!

  Jane : Everyday on my way home from work, a man follows me. It's true.

  Susan : Well, have you been to the police?

  Jane : They said I was being silly and paranoid. I heard them laughing after I left.

  Sally : That's terrible!

  Susan : Well, have you confronted the man who follows you?

  Jane : Well, there's no point, is there? It's never the same man twice. Sometimes they switch over when I'm halfway home. It's so well organized!

• Sally : [trying to explain to Patrick what platonic friendship with a woman is]  What do you call people you go out with but don't try to sleep with?

  Patrick : [beat]  Men.

• Susan : Some men were born lucky. Some men were born very lucky.

  Sally : What was Patrick born?

  Susan : A tripod.

• Sally : I hate having sex at home. I've got a listening flatmate.

  Jane : Oh no, I hate those. Do you have to be really quiet for her?

  Sally : No, I have to be really loud. We're very competitive.

• Patrick : If I don't like a woman, if there's no chemistry, if I'm not attracted to her, then I don't lead her on. I just get out of there.

  Sally : Really?

  Patrick : Everytime, before she *even* wakes up.

  Sally : So you do have sex with them, then?

  Patrick : Well, there's no need to be cruel, is there?

• Jane : I'm just feeling so ridiculously horny. I swear, if I didn't have my heart set on having sex with a man, you two would be in serious trouble.

  Sally : I could never have sex with another woman. What if she had a smaller bottom?

  Susan : Excuse me! I have a crisis here way above bottoms on the crisis scale.

  Sally : We're women. There is nothing above bottoms on the crisis scale. Bottoms are our natural enemy.

  Susan : Sally, please...

  Sally : They follow us around our entire lives, right behind us and constantly growing. How do they do that? I'm sure mine's back there secretly snacking.

• Sally : [finds an engagement ring in a box labeled "Sally don't look in this box."]  This is an engagement ring.

  Patrick : Yes it is.

  Sally : An engagement ring! Do you have a girlfriend?

  Patrick : Yes, Sally.

  [pause] 

  Patrick : You.

  Sally : Me?

  Patrick : Yes, you.

  Sally : Who are you proposing to then?

  Patrick : Who do you think?

  Sally : I... I...

  Patrick : I was waiting - I was waiting, as it happens, for the right romantic moment.

  Sally : [Looks around at the mess she made]  Fuck.

• Sally : A woman with clothes on has negotiating power.

• Sally : [singing]  I'm Susan the happy trotting elf! I trot and trot and bounce and bounce and smile a lot and that's what counts! I'm Susan the happy trotting smile a lotting elf! I'm polite so just for clarity, when I'm cross I say "Apparently!"

• [Talking to Jane and Susan] 

  Sally : At least you've been in there with Patrick. I've passed on my opportunity to be "Patricked."

• Sally : Patrick, when I said I wanted to have a baby with you, I just meant... socially.

  Patrick : Socially?

  Sally : To tea.

  Patrick : Babies can't come round to tea, Sally.